Mamaof2M's

A Weekend Alone

2011-10-23T17:27:00.002-05:00

Often, David realizes when I've totally reached my limit, and need some time to myself. This year, it seems to be happening a lot. School is pretty stressful, as is home, and just life in general. Since I'm a worrier, I don't relax well...or at all. I'm always keyed up with things to do, and things on my mind. This past week was unusually busy, with parent-teacher conferences consuming a lot of my time. David knew how tired I'd be, so he took the girls to his parents house for the weekend.

During this weekend, I spent time with my sister, who I love more than words can say. We've hung out a little with our dad, decorating for Halloween. It's been relaxing and wonderful. However, my mind is constantly on my children. We needed to get a few things at Target, which turned into finishing shopping for their Halloween costumes, new jammies, and a tennis racket. This all turned into a trip to Old Navy, resulting in some very cheap shirts for the girls, and winter coats for them as well.

My weekend alone, meaning without children, was spent worrying about their weekend, scheduling of this week, Halloween, and shopping for much needed items. I was alone, without screams of my name, screams of "STOP IT," and screams in general. It has been awesome, but weird. It has been much, much needed, and allowed me the time I've needed to take a breath.

I can't help but wonder if I'm the only mother that feels this way. I think of my cousin, who has a preschooler and twin boys. She always seems so put together, so with it....so, the perfect example of a Mom. She's a blogger as well, a wonderful and published writer, that I look up to as a Mom. She feeds her kids hummus and veggies, fancy cheese and fruit, and listens to classical music with them. She lets them paint, and do arts and crafts. I don't think she yells, if it happens, it's not often. She's awesome, and as we've grown up, I see her awesomeness even more. She's inspiring, to say the least.

But how do I get to where she is? She seems to have naturally fallen into this role of motherhood, the awesome motherhood where cookies are always made for school parties, handmade invites are made for parties, and words are eloquently flowing in all of her blogs. Again, she's awesome...as in awesomesauce. And I love her to the moon as well.

This weekend alone has made me realize, I need to be more like her. I need to play classical music, dance with my babies, attempt to get Mak to eat hummus, and relax. She'll tell you that she's a worrier too, but she seems so together. I need that in my life.

A weekend alone has me refreshed, with a new outlook. I can't say that I won't yell to often, that I won't fall back into bad habits at time. This weekend is the start of a new beginning. I want to be more patient, more open, and more available to my girls. Life has taken me over, and I allowed it. But now, NO MORE! We are in my favorite time of year, where family times are my favorite times.

So here's to a new Mama. A refreshed Mama. An inspired Mama. A big thanks to David, for realizing my need to have some time by myself. Thanks Cousin K, for being you, and being amazing at life. Love you!

An Update on Mavvie

2011-10-22T08:42:00.004-05:00

As many of you know, Mavvie has been a source of worry since before she was born. It's almost as if I knew that she was going to have some problems, some issues, before I even got to see her most beautiful little face. We have some updates about her, so I thought I'd share.

Her speech therapy is going well, which I am so thankful for. We still don't get all of what she is trying to say, which is fine. She is saying sentences, using her words for her many demands, and "reading" books to herself all of the time. She is still working with her therapist, which has been so much fun for both of them. The kids in her daycare, especially one, will sit with her while they are doing therapy. It's so sweet!

Emmie and I took Mavvie to Children's Mercy on Tuesday to meet with a new allergist and part of her GI team. The allergist said she probably doesn't have any food allergies, but an intolerance. There are no tests for an intolerance, which is a giant pain in my tush, to be honest. We know that she is intolerant to the protein in watermelon and strawberries, as she has an oral reaction to these foods. She might have it with bananas as well, but we'll have to give that some time. The allergist also said he believes she is lactose intolerant, when it's given as milk, but also that she might be intolerant to milk protein as well. If you don't know, lactose is different in milks, cheeses and yogurts. She could handle cheese and yogurt, as it is processed differently than plain old milk. She was put on PediaSure over a year ago to help her gain weight, as it has everything nutritionally she will need until she is 10. However, it has milk protein in it.

After a long talk with the allergist, he came up with a specific plan for her asthma and eczema, and sent us along to discuss this milk protein thing with the GI people. The final thought was this, "Let's try eliminating all milk proteins, lactose, milk products from her diet for three weeks." I was overwhelmed, but fine with it. I didn't realize how much food has some type of milk in in. She was put on a new formula, Elecare, and seems to love it. It's sweet, vanilla flavored, which I'm glad she likes. When she'd had it before, it didn't go so well. We are struggling with her diet, as so much has milk in it. But, we are working through those issues.

She is growing, and still happy, for which we are so thankful. You might be wondering why all of these changes, if she is growing! She had a GI scope a month or so ago, to check to see what was going on in her belly. After 10 biopsies were taken, we got word that the eosinophills are back in her GI tract. She has a slightly elevated level at her duodenum, but a higher level in her rectum area. This is the reason for these changes.

To look at her, she seems like a small, but healthy, little love. We know that she has some tummy discomfort, but doesn't complain or cry about it. We often wonder if she's just so used to it that it doesn't bother her much. We are hopeful that this lactose study will provide some answers, and help her feel better. It's very hard to tell a lot from her, since she's so little and really doesn't complain often.

Overall, the day was a wonderful day with sweet Mavvie. She is so sweet, loving, and full of curiosity. She takes everything in, with her big brown eyes, so full of wonder and zest for life. Mavvie is so independent, yet needy, funny, yet so serious, and loving of all people and things. I'm hoping that in a few years, she'll be over all of this, but I know that if she isn't, that's okay too.

We recently got some news in our family that is heartbreaking, yet optimistic. While I'd rather not share, it has put all of Mavvie's issues in perspective. At times like these, a day off of work, spent mostly at a hospital, getting help for our little peanut, is a day that reminds me of how thankful we are. Yes, she has issues, but those issues are nothing compared to what some parents are dealing with. We should take our cues from Mavvie, not complain, but live life to the fullest, dealing with things as they come, not worrying, but embracing the life that God has chosen for us.

"I Wuv You To Da Moon!"

2011-10-02T18:04:00.003-05:00

As a child of a librarian, a teacher, and a sometimes good Mama, I try to read to the girls....a lot. Mavvie's favorite activity is reading. Makenna also loves to read. Often, we read the same book over and over and over again. I've read Jamberry so many times I think I can recite it in my sleep. We've started reading chapter books, thanks to my cousins Kara and Katy for getting them for Makenna when she was a little tot. She loves Frog and Toad and Little Bear.

Mavvie has certain books that are also her favorite, but her favorite line is and has been for a long time, "I love you to the moon." It is from the book, "Guess How Much I Love You." It's a favorite of mine, of theirs, of nearly every Mama I know. It was a gift from my dear friend Sheila O. when Makenna was still waiting to join the world.

The book has been read often and discussed often. A nightly or even good-bye ritual has me saying, "Good night Makenna, I love you to the moon." "Good night Mavvie, I love you to the moon." Makenna says it back, and has for a while, as she is a big girl. Mavvie would often look at me with awe, a grin, and her chewy blankie. She never said it back, in fact, she never said anything back. Until recently.

She started saying, "I wuv you to da moon, Mommy," a few weeks ago. It's heartwarming, and makes me feel like we're making progress in her speech therapy. I finally feel like we are going where we need to be going with her. My worries are still there, but one simple sentence makes my heart fill with glee and serenity, knowing that we have gone on the correct path with her.

Today, while having a lunch at McDonald's, a treat for the girls, I was saying my good-byes to David and Mavvie. Our weekend has been full of lists getting checked off, and today was no different. We decided to divide the children and conquer tasks. I scooped her slight body into my arms and she wiggled and giggled. I said, "Bye-bye, Mavvie. I'm going to the store. I love you to the moon. Kiss?" She stopped wiggling, gave me a sweet ketchup faced smile, replied, "Uh-huh! (kiss) I WUV YOU TO DA MOON, MOMMY! I WUV YOU TO DA MOON!!!!" It melted my heart a million times over. Yes, she yelled it. Yes, it probably annoyed people that a child was screaming at the top of her lungs. But, I didn't and still don't care.

Mavvie has found her voice, a voice that is sweet, kind, demanding, and filled with love. She loves to the moon now, and can verbalize it to anyone. My heart is filled to the moon.....and back!

Never Forget

2011-09-11T09:11:00.002-05:00

Today, September 11, 2011, marks the ten year anniversary of the largest terrorist attack on our country. As I sit on my bright red couch, tears coming and going as I watch the coverage on television, I am still trying to wrap my head around these events.
I was at work, when I read online about the first attack. I went to my boss, a plan was devised, and the television around the corner was turned to NBC. In a school district administration office, there is a lot to do. But on that day, people stopped, hugged, and watched with teary eyes a day that one could never forget.
Ten long and yet short years later, we still have not forgotten. We remember the devastation, the horror, the lives lost, and now, lives that have picked up the pieces and moved on. I don't know if I will ever fully understand the evil and hatred behind this day. I don't know that I want to, or that thinking of those responsible should be given the time of day. However, I do remember the feelings, the people, the pictures and stories about the victims.
So now, we stop and remember the victims and their families. God Bless them all, as well as our country, and those that defend our nation in remembrace and honor for all of us.

As Time Goes By

2011-07-28T21:58:00.002-05:00

Well hello! It has been quite a while since I have written. For that, I am sorry. I needed a break!
But I am back, with gusto, to share our lives!

Summer has been interesting, to say the least! I have gone through some personal things, which is why I needed the break. The girls have been super busy, in and out of town, swimming, having fun! The are about to leave again so I can work on my classroom. David is well, busy with work and taking care of me! I've been sick recently, and he has really stepped up and helped!

As much as I have to say, I don't have the words out yet. Please forgive me, and I promise to write to you soon!!

What have you been up to?

Finding My Mojo

2011-05-13T18:20:00.003-05:00

As you can see, I haven't blogged in a long time! A lot has been going on in life, and I just couldn't find my words. School has been tough, class was tougher, and home just hasn't been flowing. After having a meltdown, I'd think all was better! It wasn't, until today! We had our student appreciation assembly at school. I was less than thrilled, especially since I didn't get the chance to practice. The staff was buzzing with excitement all week! I didn't get it, until today!
It was AWESOME! We had a blast, but more importantly, the kids had a blast! They sang, cheered, screamed, and danced. As teachers, we did the same! Never, ever have I felt like such a part of something that was just to show the kids tha WE love and appreciate them. Honestly, it was humbling.
This is what I needed! My perspective had gotten all out of whack, and I needed an adjustment. I'm back, feeling like me, and ready to work it! Apparently, I needed to dance the uglies out! So thank you, to my students, whom I try so hard for everyday. I hope you know how much I love about each of you! Thank you, to my peers, who keep me sane, make me laugh, and have made me feel so loved and accepted. Finally, thanks to my babies at home and David, for letting me have meltdowns and just accepting it!

A Letter To My Youngest Beauty

2011-03-24T16:57:00.002-05:00

Dearest Mavvie Renee,

It has taken me nearly two weeks to figure out the perfect words to say to you in this letter. There is so much to say, so much to proud of, so much to love about you. I want to say it all just right, so forgive my tardiness.

Two years ago, I saw your beautiful round face. You looked much like your older sister, but with striking blue eyes that melted my heart from the moment I met you. You have been through so much in these 24 months. Many hospital visits, countless medicines, five doctors, and questions from loved ones and strangers about you. Overall, you are my strong little fighter.

You have so much to be upset about, with the doctors, the meds, the poking, the prodding. But you aren't. You're a sassy little smile, an air kiss, a pull on the shirt girl. You never cease to amaze me with your quick hugs to Makenna, your silly giggle, and your love of life.

Perhaps it's because you don't know all that is different with you. I'm content with that! I'm content with this being your life, you knowing no different, with your smile at the doctors, chewing their medical equipment, and yet letting them know when you aren't happy with them. I'm content that you are a happy, funny little girl that rolls with the punches of life. You've had many things that could have knocked you down, but they didn't. For that, I'm proud of you.

So now, at the age of two you are a rock. You love bubbles, blowing out imaginary candles, Bubba, and books. Your love for your sister is beautiful and definitely reciprocated. Your favorite place in the world is snuggled with Daddy, chewing on a flour sack towel, reading a book. You also are ornery, and love to chase the cat, while trying to ride him.

In two years, you have made my heart grow more than I thought it ever could. Thank you for teaching me so much, for letting me learn how to be a better mother, for teaching me what true beauty is meant to be.

I love you,
Mama

Mavvie

2011-03-24T16:53:00.003-05:00

Here she is...the one, the only, the most beautiful Mavvie in the world!

These pictures were taken around her second birthday. Yes, I know, she's two! I don't know where the time has gone! The pictures also embody all that is Mavvie. She is sassy, and yet the sweetest little person. She talks back, in her own mumbled way, but then runs to you with arms raised.

Life Happens

2011-03-21T08:06:00.002-05:00

It has been forever since I shared with you! I'm sorry that life has been happening! We need a nes computer power cord, have had doctor appointments, and just life is going on! I promise that we are going to get a cord this week. Then I will write my paper for class, and update you on the happenings!

New Blog

2011-01-18T10:53:00.003-06:00

My sista and I have started a new blog. We're on a weight loss adventure....join us and enjoy what we come up with to write about!

http://twochubbs.blogspot.com

I'll still be writing on here, but wanted to share the other adventures of my life with you!

Makenna, The Bully

2011-01-13T11:53:00.001-06:00

In April of 2005, I gave birth to a perfect little baby girl that I named Makenna Coleen. She was, and is, beautiful inside and out. She has always snuggled with someone, given kisses, sang songs, and danced. She beats to her own fashion drum, defends the weak, and cries at movies that make her sad. I thought she was a great kid, but then, I'm her Mama so I should think those thoughts.

She went to preschool at three, role modeled for special needs kids, and did awesome. Her passion and zest for life got even the shyest of the autistic kids to come out of their shells. At four, she attended the same preschool, and made new friends. She grew up in a year full of her coming into her own, shall we say.

At five, she began her formal schooling with kindergarten. I had no doubt that she'd be successful, and would be a helper to all around her. She is all of the above, but recently, she's added a new title. She's a bully. She has hit three kids recently, two because she "thought" they did something to her, which was an accident. She didn't think about their feelings as she pummeled their backs with her little girl hands. She didn't think about the consequence, she just hit. She IS the mean girl.

Last night, we had it out, her and I. We both cried, and we talked, and we cried some more. She IS a good girl. She ISN'T this child, this mean, nasty little girl that beats up boys because they accidentally touched her. I am beside myself with what to do. I feel like a failure as a parent, because I have "THAT" girl in her class. I've never taught her to hit because someone does something to her. She rarely gets spankings, just usually gets sent to her room, or the hallway to get herself together.

She said she's learned at school that if someone does something to you, then you hit them. I hate that she's learned this. So I took matters into my own hands. I text messaged her teacher, and requested that the principal speak with Mak. I told Mak of the plan, and she cried and cried.

I want her to be spunky, and to not let anyone take advantage of her. But when she comes to my school, she's going to be suspended if she continues this behavior. My heart is broken over this, and I feel as if I'm failing her as a parent.

How can I get through to her?

Intentions

2010-12-09T12:34:00.002-06:00

When I started writing this blog, I intended to keep it totally up-to-date with information about our lives and pictures. I intended to write down every milestone that the girls accomplished, with great detail. I intended to have funny little stories, quotes, and insights to what I think life is all about.

My intentions were good, I promise. But life happens. It gets in the way of blogging, of resting, of taking time to appreciate the little things along the way. So for now, I'll write what is going on with us, and try to share little things that happen along the way, good and bad.

In thinking of Mavvie's milestones, I realize I miss the baby in her. The snuggle on your chest, smells like a baby, in her. I miss her big eyes looking at me, knowing that I could make it all better for her. Now, I'm in a time of uncertainty with her. I love her independence, her fiesty attitude, and the few snuggles I still get. But I don't know that I can make it all better. Along with everything else going on with her, we've added the possibility of seizures in her daily life. She stares blankly into space, like she is in her own world, but can't come out of it until it's all over. It's scary, and makes me teary. I just want her to be healthy, and away from all of the doctors. My intentions with Mavvie were to let her live life her own way...but she's a hitter, and so I worry about that. She's feisty, but REALLY feisty! So feisty that I worry that she's too aggressive. When I stop and think though, I realize....she's not two years old yet, she's a second born, and most of all, she's pretty happy! She loves life, and goes into everything she does all or nothing. I love her zest for new things, her giggle, and everything from her top of her head to the tips of her little piggy toes! I need to remember to not worry, but to enjoy her, with all of her little quirks, instead of being upset and sad that so much is going on medically with her.

Mak is doing awesome at kindergarten. She's reading, writing sentences, and being a good friend....most of the time. She has the heart of an angel, worrying about her friends and teachers, and getting especially upset when they aren't treated nicely. She worries about David, his upcoming surgery, and about Mavvie. She worries that Mavvie's too sick, that she sees too many doctors, and will have to get lots of shots and not poop often enough. Makenna is me, she worries like me, acts like me, and even gets irrational like me. I worry that I'm too tough on her, that I expect too much, and that I will hurt her if I snap one too many times at her because I'm so worried about everything else. But she's happy, she giggles, she cries, and she screams with delight at the prospect of getting ice cream. She yells at her sister, but then cries when Mav cries. She's a bundle of emotions, feeling her way through being five, learning and teaching along the way. And I love her.

Maybe I was off when my expectation and my intentions with this blog. I do know, however, that that all doesn't matter now. What matters is that I do get somethings written, to get them off of my chest, to bounce the ideas off of you all, and that no matter wha I write, it'll be an honest memory of whatever we are going through!

Sometimes Life Stinks, And Then You Become Thankful

2010-10-27T19:48:00.002-05:00

Life is hard. It's hard being an adult, really, it is. The responsibilities, the kids, the husband, the career, the fun. It's hard. Not only is life hard, but sometimes, it just flat out stinks. Sometimes literally, other times figuratively. We've had enough of the stinking, though, and we thought it was over.

Mavvie started having poo issues again, and she wasn't eating. On top of that, she was throwing cups full of Pediasure (liquid gold) onto the floor. So I had to call Children's Mercy in Kansas City, the home of her GI docs. We set an appointment, and were told to just hang in there for a couple of weeks.

David started having issues again. Stupid heart, his actual heart...not him. He ended up with a surprise cardioversion on a Wednesday, only to go back into the hospital on a Friday, for a weekend stay at the Stormont-Vail Hilton. An appointment was set with is heart surgeon in Kansas City, at KU Med, for the same day as Mavvie's appointment.

Those appointments were yesterday. It's normal that Mavvie's not eating, she's to keep staying away from milk, take some more meds, and call in two weeks. David will have another heart surgery in the next couple of months. We'll know more details soon.

It STINKS that all of this is happening, again. But I'm thankful. While we were at Children's Mercy I saw an old friend from high school. He looked tired, troubled, and surprised to see me standing there. I said my cheerful hello, and he returned, but not so chipper. He informed me that his little boy is having heart complications, it's very serious, and that it doesn't look good. I assured him we'd pray for them, that we were so sorry, and said goodbye.

All day, I thought about my friend and his little guy. I know how great Children's Mercy is because we'd spent so much time there this summer. I know that of all the places in the area, that's where we'll always take Mavvie or Makenna when things are bad. Knowing this doesn't help him, though. We've been through TONS since November, but I'm thankful.

I'm thankful for everyone that loves us, has taken care of David, Makenna, and Mavvie. I'm thankful that we have friends and family that keep us in their thoughts and prayers. I'm thankful for answers, no matter how hard they are to get or hear, they are still answers. I'm especially thankful for doctors and nurses that have taken care of all of us, in times of great stress, trauma, and joy. I'm thankful that they have guided me through this journey patiently, as I stop them to write down information, ask 50 questions, and to pass me tissues when I'm hitting my overload limit. So thank you, all of you.

So when my life stinks, when more meds get added for Mavvie, Makenna's nails aren't healing, and David's heart is stupid, I will remember to be thankful. What are you thankful for?

Please say a prayer for my friend, G, and his family, so that God can guide them, as He has me, in these times of stress and worry.

On Feeling Accepted, Part of the Team, And Getting "It"

2010-09-28T20:39:00.003-05:00

The past two days I have been in meetings, training actually. We had two days of professional development, Kagan training. Kagan is some awesome training about teambuilding, classbuilding, and learning structures for my kiddos. It was awesome! As in AWESOME! As in, THE BEST INSERVICE EVER!!!! i left yesterday excited to get back into my classroom, and left today feeling the same. I feel like I'm ready to get my kindergartners into new teams so that they can learn cooperatively in a more effective way. :)

But more importantly, I have noticed the feeling that I get from being in these trainings with my new co-workers. I feel accepted, and part of the team. I feel like it's okay to be me, to sing along with the Grease soundtrack at full volume, to laugh until I wheeze and cry, and to give my opinion. I appreciate the fact that they want me to feel like I'm part of them, that they want me to succeed on this new journey, and that they are genuinely glad about me being at work with them daily.

I'm thankful for them. I'm thankful for them letting me be me, for accepting me, and for understanding that I don't know some, okay lots, of things but that I'm trying. I am thankful that my principal lets me come in when her red light is up, for the little notes that come under our shared wall from my friend, H. I'm also thankful for the hugs from T. and D, and the hysterics that I get into when I picture I. in her helmet waiting for snow. I'm thankful to be part of their team, an awesome team!

The past year has been one of the hardest of my life, with many ups and downs, more downs than ups, actually. I've been wondering why it all has happened, and I don't know that I'll ever get it, or fully understand. I do know, that as each challenge has happened, and I've gotten through it, I've tried to be positive. I've tried to smile, to laugh, to accept whatever it is that is happening. This is something to add to what I thought was the not-so-great list....getting moved to a new place. But this....THIS....I get!

On Growing

2010-09-19T18:01:00.002-05:00

As we know, I've been moved to a new school and a new grade. TRAUMA, if you all remember. However, I get it now. I was taken out of my comfort zone, removed from my childhood school, friends, and most importantly watching Mak do all of her "firsts" in school-school, not pre-school. I was devastated, to say the least, angry, upset, and very teary.

I'm still involved in the school that I left, however. Mak is in kindergarten there, and I am the secretary of the PTO. It's very different to be a parent than a teacher/parent, as I'm learning. I get to really have an opinion, and voice it, loud and clear, as a parent, not just someone that is complaining. I get to hear all about Mak's day, songs she learned, who had to walk the line, and who she wasn't so nice to on the playground.

This is life, and for me, it's been hard. The hardest thing is starting over, meeting new people, being me around these new people, and mostly missing Mak's firsts. Some things have happened at the school that she's at that I'm not too fond of. She's safe, happy, and LOVES her teacher....and I love her teacher as well. But other things that bothered me as a teacher, really bother me as a parent. That's been interesting to me, and I feel like I was blinded by things when I taught there.

I've learned about me, a lot, throughout this whole process. I try to be optimistic, but at the same time realistic, and I know that about myself. Now I see that my optimism, looking for the good in people, shielded me from a lot of things. It's funny how when you leave someplace, or a situation, and can really reflect on it, things change for you.

In talking this over with my good friend, V, I kept asking and asking why things were changing so much. She informed me, with her infinite wisdom, that things weren't changing, but that it was me that was changing. I was "growing up" so to speak. I love her, her advice, and her outlook on life. She made me realize that leaving wasn't a bad thing, hard, but not bad. She also made me realize that I HAVE grown up, and don't have time for pettiness, gossip, and people that are unkind.

I've realized on my own that I'm stronger than I ever knew, that I value honesty and being kind more than I ever knew. I've also realized that sometimes, just sometimes, people show their true colors when you call them out, ask them questions, or just leave a situation behind. I appreciate where I am now, more than I thought I would. I miss my old school daily, but I get it now. I get that it's okay to grow, and to move on. Good friends, true friends, will always be there.

Things Heard In Kindergarten, Volume One

2010-09-06T19:42:00.003-05:00

"Okay everyone, we are going to trade those big pencils for some with erasers. Erasers are what we use when we make mistakes," I said.
"OOOOHHHH, I LOVE STEAKS!!!" exclaimed one of my students.

"Um, Mrs. Baruth.....Can you sharpen my eraser, please?"

"I can't write my name, but I can write letters."

"Will you please tell him what I just said, but in Spanish?" I asked one student. She nodded yes. I watched her as she looked at him and said nothing. I turned around because I felt like she knew I was watching her. I came back to the pair, and asked if she'd told him. She shook her head. I asked why.....she said, "I don't know how to, but I can say more stuff, so I told him about my brother."

Overall, it's been a tough few weeks for me. I've giggled, cried, sang, danced, and cried some more. I miss my old school, my familiar surroundings, familiar people, and my dearest friends. But I'm making new friends, loving them, and getting used to how things are done at my new school. I'm thankful for a job, but wonder if this is the one for me. I'm giving it my best, which isn't very good some days, but not too shabby other days.

"Good-bye, Good-bye, We had a very good day. Come back, (Clap Clap) Come back, (Clap Clap) another day to play....yay!" We talk everyday about learning being like a game...the more you learn the easier life will be for them. We sing this song every afternoon as we are saying goodbye. What are you excited about learning?

Excuse Me? I Have To Teach What????

2010-08-20T19:12:00.004-05:00

Thursday, August 12th was a rough day for me, although not as rough as Friday, August 13th, and some other days in my life. I found out that Thursday night that I had to leave my school. The school I grew up in, the school I was starting my fifth year in, the school that Mak would be attending for school this year, and Mavvie would be attending eventually. The school that felt like home....smelled like home....and was my home away from home. A lot of blood, sweat and tears were in that school, in my classroom. More importantly, I was leaving my family behind.

I had been displaced due to low enrollment in first grade, but had no idea where I was going or what grade I was even going to. It was shady, made me cry (a lot), and made me sick to my tummy. I am tenured, had been at the school longer than some of the others, and had been super involved. Not only that, but I'd been a good teacher. Suddenly, none of that mattered and I was having to leave.

David and I packed my room in a few hours, most of them involved me crying, other people crying, or just tears in general. I'm sure he thought this was a big display of drama, but these were people that I'd grown to love, to count on, to confide in.

I found out that I was going to a new school, to teach kindergarten. Yep, that's what I said....KINDERGARTEN. Sounds fun, right? I was scared to death. I had less than two paid working days to completely get a classroom up, learn a new curriculum, and be prepared and chipper for 19 kids that were entering elementary school for the first time. Sweet Jesus was all I could think.

I was welcomed with open arms, a welcome sign, and a classroom that was starting to be put together by my new school family. Relief was present, but I was still scared.

I cried most of Friday, did a lot of sweating, spent Saturday at school with my dad, and Sunday recovering from the work. Monday was spent getting the rest of my room ready, making a schedule and getting pep talks from the awesome staff at my new school.

School started on Tuesday, August 17th. I was terrified, but made it through. It's Friday. I'm alive. All of my students are alive. We've attempted groups, centers, singing, dancing, snacks, sharing, calendar, sentence writing, writing our names, identifying words, learning words, learning how to draw a pup, names, seating charts, new seating charts, carpet seating charts, new carpet seating charts, newer carpet seating charts, and a way for me to stop getting screamed at by 19 loud child voices. It's been hard, challenging, funny, and amazingly fast.

Hopefully I'll be left alone, and can stay at this school for a while. The staff is awesome, giving, and caring. I still can't believe that I teach kindergarten, though. And no, I don't wear matching vests, necklaces and jumpers.....or any kind of wooden jewelry that has anything to do with schools.

Where Did The Summer Go?

2010-08-02T09:34:00.002-05:00

One week from tomorrow, I start back to work. Meetings, meetings, meetings...really, meetings for days. Some of those will be interesting, some will not. I will get time to work in my classroom, to prepare it for the love chickens that I get to spend most of my time with for the next nine months. But I have one question....where did the summer go?

It seems like just yesterday it was the last day of school. I was waving goodbye to those love chickens, wishing them fun times for the summer, and reminding their parents that they need to read daily. I sat in meetings then too, most of them making my brain hurt, as I was just ready for summer.

I had big plans for this summer. Lose weight, organize the apartment, even prepare for this coming school year. Then Mavvie got sick, really sick. As you know, we ended up in Children's Mercy for nearly a week, with no answers. We've been medicating her religiously, praying that she'll grow. She didn't grow enough, so we go this week to get her GI scopes done.

We've said goodbye to the girls as they spent time in Kingman, with David's parents. Makenna's gone to Iowa twice this summer, loving her time with Aunt Christie and Uncle Ron and cousin Ethan. She also took a trip to The Mall of America during one of those trips. Soon, they will leave again together, to spend one more week with Grandma and Grandpa Baruth in Kingman before school begins.

We've worked fireworks tents, bbq'd, swam, painted, redecorated the girls room, done millions of loads of laundry and dishes. But still I ask...where did the summer go?

When Mav got sick, my life was thrown for a loop. I mean really, hadn't we been through enough with David's heart, Makenna's tonsils, and the hospitalization of Mav in April? Apparently, God thought I could handle more sickness drama. Instead, I've been a worried mess about all of them, and neglecting myself.

As the summer is now, almost officially, over, I realize some things. I'm tired. I'm worn out. I'm thankful. I need to focus on me for a bit. Last week I walked nine miles and felt great! This week, we'll shoot for ten. I'm doing Walk Away The Pounds with Leslie Sansone, who is chipper, but lovely.

In my quest to remember where the summer went, I often have pictures in my head of the girls giggling, snuggling with them during tv movies, Hannah Montana, Wizards of Waverly Place, and pedicures. While I didn't accomplish goals this summer, I know now that I need to set them more firm. I need to focus, so that we can all make memories together for a very long time.

The laundry can wait, so can the dishes, going on a walk together, or to the pool...making memories and teaching them good things....that's what is important.

Where did your summer go?

Dream Job

2010-07-20T15:07:00.004-05:00

As you know, my girl Lilu of is in the running for her dream job, MTV's First Ever Twitter Jockey. It's her dream job, and the love chicken would be AMAZING at it. So if you haven't voted for her...time is almost up, so get on it. Go to my twitter page for deets.

Anyhoozit, in helping her in this journey of her life, I've been thinking. What would my dream job be? I love to sing, so maybe I'd be a famous singer...touring, making millions, dancin' my white girl bootay off. Or maybe I'd be a lawyer like I wanted to when I was a kiddo. Perhaps a nurse in a children's hospital would be good for me, especially since I've spent so much time in those places recently.

Then I think, really....I have it made. I work hard all school year to get a few months off in the summer and a few weeks during the year. I get to spend the summers with my girls, watching them grow and learn, time that I miss during the year. But the best part of my job, is the actual job. I get to work with 20ish kids a year, all year, that their parents trust me with them....to get them ready for this whole wide world. I get to help them become better readers, better mathematicians, and overall, just better people. It's awesome, to say the least.

Yes, they all drive me crazy at one point or another. I'm sure they feel the same about me. By the end of the year we are tired of each other, but still, I feel sad to be saying goodbye to them. My dream job is a teacher....granted, I wish it made more money, had more parents that were open to what I say sometimes, and I even wish it was year round.

I have realized, though, that the kids aren't the lucky ones, I am. I get to watch them grow, teach them, and to learn from them more than they'll ever know. Yep, I have the best, dreamiest job ever.

What about you? What is your dream job?

Helping Lilu With G Baruth's Story

2010-07-12T08:18:00.002-05:00

Our Gepeddo's story is cute. :) I'd been wanting a dog for a long time, but living in our apartment and being as busy as we are, we decided for a cat. The husby and I went to look at our local shelter, Helping Hands Humane Society, without our only kiddo at the time.....no need to get her hopes up if we weren't bringing one home that day. I had some rules, such as...the cat had to be older, litter box trained, declawed, and gray. Apparently it was meant to be, because "G," as we call him, was there waiting for us to adopt him.

We filled out the paperwork, and had to wait until the next day for our apartment complex to be called to make sure it was okay to adopt him. Well, I'd been feeling sick for a while, and decided while husby went to take kiddo to breakfast, that I'd take a pregnancy test. :) Sure enough, it was positive.

I made my husby have bonding time with our now oldest, so that I could freak out and take some more tests and figure out how I was to tell them both that we were going to have another one.....plus a cat that I wouldn't be able to help a lot with, since I was pregnant.

They both fell in love with the cat, brought him home, while I was falling in the first minutes of love with the little pea growing inside of me. :) I told them when they got home about what would be another "she baby," whom G has fallen in love with.

He loved pawing my belling as it grew and grew and grew. He loved snuggling with me while she would kick him from the inside out. And now....he loves her even more. He rubs on her, purrs in her face, and allows her to pull his tail, poke in his ears, and smack (pet) him without running away too quickly.

He's a great cat and we're so thankful for our shelter that he had the purr-fect animal for us. (Sorry, I couldn't resist.)

Check them out...they are building a new shelter, one which our oldest and I will volunteer at when they get all set-up. www.hhhstopeka.org

Be Patriotic and Vote For Lilu!

2010-06-21T12:34:00.005-05:00

Once upon a time, a friend recommended a blog. Said friend said, "You'll LOVE her. She's witty, likes toot jokes, and is just an awesome writer." So I did. A year or so later, I recommend her to anyone that I love that needs a good laugh.

Well, now this Queen of the Bloggies has been approached by MTV to be their very first TJ. Twitter Jockey. Yes, the world has changed, y'all. Anyway, I pinky swore promised I'd pimp, I mean tell you all, about her and to follow her on the Twitter.

So go find her. Here..I'll help you. Seriously, go find her. She loves all things lovely about life, including fat cats, burgers, her boyfriend B, and just about everything. You MUST read her TMI Thursday posts to be vomitatious and grossed out, along with all of the other musings on her blog.

Thanks. Vote for her to be THE TJ. Or I will post a whole blog about the poos of my children for days.

Some People Are A-Holes

2010-06-16T14:22:00.002-05:00

Yesterday I took Mavvie and Makenna to Kansas City for Mavvie's doctor's appointment with the GI Specialist. She's lost weight, so we have a little different plan of attack, but still a plan.

After we left the hospital, we went to Crown Center where they have a free Clifford The Big Red Dog exhibit where kids can play. Mak had a great time, and it proved to be difficult for me to not yell at children. I know, even during the summer, I'm still a teacher. Then we went to The Legends, an outdoor shopping/restaurant area on the Kansas side of KC. It's a very neat place with lots of outlet stores and Mak's favorite restaurant, T-Rex Cafe.

We ate, went into a few shops, got some great deals and stopped in the Gymboree outlet on the way to the car. HUGE sales were found, and I was more than delighted. Makenna and Mavvie were happy because they have a tv that plays kid shows, so they were very entertained. I was going through these bins and racks of clothes when Mavvie got upset. I ran and got her stroller and rolled her around the store with me. Then she got REALLY upset...as in, red face, tears, screams.

A woman looked at me, and then looked at Mavvie, then back at me. And then. IT. HAPPENED. "What's wrong with her face?" the woman disdainfully said. I assumed she had a bloody nose, an eye was falling out, or something like cheese was stuck to her nose or something. I looked at Mav, with her beautiful Popeye face, and said, "Nothing." The woman proceded to ask me the same question again, in an even more a-holey tone. Finally, it hit me. "She was born with seventh nerve palsy, so her left eye doesn't close when she cries and her mouth is a tad droopy on that side." "OHHHH,HMMM," said that witch of a woman, with pity on her face.

The salespeople just stopped and looked at me. I was COMPLETELY taken by surprise. And then it hit me. I was about to THROW DOWN with this woman, in a child's clothing store, as everyone watched. Luckily, the saleswomen swarmed me and talked to Mav and calmed her down. It's like they could feel the anger that I was feeling. I tried to get it together, and amazingly enough, I did. But it was hard.

I got home and told David all about it. He agreed that the woman was lucky that he wasn't there, because I'd have ushered him and the girls out and then proceded to open the can on this crazy woman. Thinking about it just makes me sad.

Mavvie's beautiful in everyway. But I worry that people will keep saying rude things, and that she'll be hurt by those things. She's going to get a sling put in when she's about to start school, but that's many years from now. She has a cute grin, really does look like Popeye when she cries, but still...she's beautiful. Her eyes speak volumes, her giggle is contagious, and her sighs are so big for such a little girl. I want to protect her from people's mean looks and comments. I want to smack them when they are mean. But I can't, and I know that.

So we have to prepare her for what people might say. I'm sure she'll just look at them and say the same thing that I did. Overall, I just want her to realize that she IS beautiful, inside and out. She's stubborn, sassy, funny, and just freakin' amazing. I guess in addition to teaching her all of the great things about people, we'll just teach her as well....that some people are just a-holes.

A Mavvie Update

2010-06-09T15:42:00.002-05:00

Here is Mavvie, a mere two weeks ago, with a saran wrap/crockpot liner bag hiney. We were collecting her poo for a study, which turned out fine. We had a paint can of poo in our fridge for 72-hours. It was awful, to say the least. We couldn't figure out what was wrong with her, and she was losing weight left and right, so we ended up getting sent to Kansas City to Children's Mercy. We were there for nearly a week, so she left Topeka looking like this picture.

A little more than a week later, this is what she looked like. Her whole attitude had changed, and she was back to her old self. This is in her crib, at Children's Mercy in downtown Kansas City. I giggled as it looked like she was in some old fashioned jail, when it was her place to play and work on getting better. She loved the toys in her bed, the nurses, doctors and others that came to see her.

As of now, home for a few days, we are still waiting for answers. Some labs aren't back yet from the send out in Kansas City. It's hard to look at her, to know that there could be something super wrong with her. It's hard to realize that we couldn't have been doing anything different, but we still want to. She's still a fighter, though, and through all of the weeks of gross diapers, eating lots and lots just to have it run through her almost immediately, she hasn't ever really been overly upset. We're blessed to have the pediatrician that we have. We're blessed to live so close to a wonderful children's hospital. We're blessed to be learning so much from such a petite little monkey. :)

Worry, Then Acceptance

2010-06-02T22:27:00.000-05:00

I have a confession. I'm a worrier. I worry about everything. Literally. I even worry that I'm worrying too much. I worry about my girls, my husband, the cat, money, work, class, friends, friends of friends, church, family, and the list could go on and on. I can't help it. I'm a worrier. I was born this way, and I'm fairly certain that in a million years, I'll die like this.

In the last 7 weeks, my worrying has switched from panic, to just worry, to concern, back to worry and finally, now, to acceptance. The Petite Monkey, Mavvie, has been sick for what seems like forever. She's pooped so much I can't even count the number of times I've gagged, dry heaved, or sworn at her diapers. It's a smell that is a mixture of death, rotten fish, and the bog of stench.

We've been in the hospital in Topeka, as I've mentioned. We've done test after test after test. These tests have been blood tests, poo tests, and the ever popular 72-hour fecal fat test. That involves a paint can, baggies, and the fridge. *Gross, I know.* She's done three sweat tests to see if she has Cystic Fibrosis, which have all been inconclusive, as she didn't sweat enough for them. For six or seven weeks, I've looked at her, wondering if she has something that is eating her from the inside out.

Well, we're in Kansas City now, at Children's Mercy. She's getting amazing care, having fun, and yes, still pooping. We're getting answers, slowly. But one hangs over our head. Does she have CF? I've been worried about this for what seems like forever. So today she had the test. And the doc said it might be back this evening. So I worried. And worried. And worried.

It didn't come back today. Tomorrow morning is what they are saying. I've realized that I'm not worried anymore. I've accepted whatever it is. In fact, it'd be a relief to just know what it is...that way, she wouldn't have to do anymore tests. We'd know what we were dealing with. That probably sounds odd, that I'd be glad if she had it. That isn't the case, but at least I'd know that a plan was almost in place for her care.

I'm working on worrying less, and giving more to God. He knows that I worry, he made me this way, but why? I'm working on that as well.

What do you worry about? How do you not worry? Does your worry ever finally become acceptance?

The New Pediatrician and an Update

2010-05-11T09:11:00.000-05:00

I'd never taken the girls to a pediatrician, always to our family doctor. Yesterday, I realized what an awful choice that has been. I'm so glad I've seen the error of my ways. Below is an update on Mavvie.

We went to the new pediatrician yesterday for the first time. He is wonderful! Here's the new plan of action. We will be going to Children's Mercy in KC to meet with a Pediatric Neurologist about her Bells Palsy in her face. She was born with it, and we were told that it would just go away on its own...well, it doesn't. So we're praying that the damage isn't permanent. The doc is also going to look through her labs to see if he sees anything that would indicated Cystic Fibrosis. If he does, he'll have Children's Mercy do a test when we are there for the neurologist.

He's also going to do labs at the end of the month to check her complete vitamin D profile, along with a bowel study to see if she's absorbing nutrients properly or at all. He's also doing a skeletal scan to see how that looks. With the extremely high number that her alkaline phosphatase came back a couple of weeks ago, it could be Rickets Disease or a bone disease or even bone cancer.

All in all, we felt better having a plan of action with her. Dr. Reynold's is amazing, and just really comforting. He's open to discussions about stuff and answered all of our questions without making us feel like he was in a huge hurry.

Being Scared

2010-05-03T06:26:00.000-05:00

The past six months have been scary. We've gone from David being revived nearly in front of me, his four hour heart surgery, sleep apnea tests and results, Makenna's influenza and tonsillectomy, Mavvie's asthma and ear issues. I was scared through a lot of that, but dealt with it fairly well. A few tears, a few moments of yelling at my understanding sister, some cranky days at school, but overall I did alright. Until now.

Mavvie's been sick for a few weeks. It's been up and down, so we thought it was just a virus. Last week, she was admitted into the hospital for fluids and some testing. As things were ruled out, relief started to wash over me. She has some colon thing going on, C-Diff, which is contagious and really painful for adults. She has an ear infection that is resisting treatment, but that they can't treat much more vigorously because it will mess with the C-Diff. She has a huge vitamin D deficiency so she's taking vitamin drops that are smelly and gross. Since she's been in here, her asthma has acted up so she's on treatments every four hours. They are pretty sure they've ruled out thyroid issues, cancer and other things.

Until yesterday. Yesterday we were informed that she needs to be tested for Cystic Fibrosis. She's petite, has breathing issues, bowel issues that are recurrent, and according to David, tasted like salt yesterday. (I made him lick her because that is one of the things that can be a clue that she might have it.) As the doctor told us, I just cried. Partly because of exhaustion, but mostly because CF is a HUGE deal. It takes away the long life expectancy of kids. It can be mild or severe, but it's a tough life for them to lead. It's a very scary disease.

I don't admit to many people that I'm scared about things. I stay fairly calm and steady until I'm around my family and then I break down. But being that I think writing will help me with this, to get it out, I wanted to share it in words. I keep hearing that it's okay to be scared. I think it's scary to be scared, scary to feel out of control of something that I have helped create. Scary to know that a test on her leg or arm can change her life forever.

I know I shouldn't feel scared or out of control, that God will do His will. I know that I should give it all up to Him, that he'll make it all okay. But that's hard, really hard. No matter what the results, I know we'll be alright. But right now, I'm scared.

Dear Doodle

2010-04-19T14:11:00.000-05:00

Dear Doodle,

Five years ago I was scared to death to be your Mama. I wasn't sure how this whole Mom thing would go. I was hoping I wouldn't hurt you, let you down, or disappoint you with my lack of parenting skills. I was worried, nervous, and pretty much any emotion you can think of all rolled into one human being.

You came early, a week, to be exact. You were beautiful, round, and amazingly big at nearly nine pounds but only 19 1/2 inches long. Emmie was with me during the surgery, she forgot the camera, and I'll let her tell you the rest of that part of the story when the time comes. The first time we both saw you the tears flowed from our eyes. You were upset to be taken out of your old home, to be brought into the bright and chilly world.

We giggled as Dr. Depew held you up for a picture with him and you gave him dirty looks. Now we know that this was a small preview to what your personality would grow into. We marveled at how amazing you were, with huge brown eyes and head full of jet black, straight hair that hung off of your neck. You were the most beautiful Makenna I'd ever seen, and still are to this day.

You got to meet Grandma and Grandpa soon after you were born. You snuggled up to both of them, as if knowing that they had the safest arms in the world, along with Emmie. You had tons of visitors from my school and from friends and family once we got back to Topeka.

So now, five years later, I am still in awe of you. You are brave, kind, generous, caring, silly and have a heart of gold. You love life and live it to the fullest. You are a 45 pound box of laughs, stories, songs, and joy in my heart every day.

Thank you for allowing me to be your Mama to the best of my ability. Thank you for hugging me when I need hugs, kissing me when I need kisses, and for not giving up on me when I mess up. Thank you for understanding that as you are learning about the world, I'm learning about the world as your Mama, and seeing it through a brand new set of eyes.

Most of all, my dearest Makenna Coleen, thank you for being you. Happy Birthday, Doodle.

Love, Mama

Easter Eggs

2010-04-12T13:29:00.001-05:00

While Daddy and Mavvie snuggled on the couch the Saturday before Easter.......

Makenna worked so hard getting the eggs JUST right. Her concentration was awesome, as were the final product, seen on the bottom left of the picture.

Thanks Grandma and Grandpa for having us out for this fun tradition!

My Birthday, Part 2

2010-04-08T13:00:00.001-05:00

This is my beautiful cake that Mama and Dada ordered for my party. I LOVE it because it has lots of flowers and pretty colors on it.

Mama and Dada even ordered me my very own cake! It was pretty, but more importantly, it was chocolate and had the BEST icing with flowers and a big number one. Here I am, tasting my first taste of cake. I was unsure about it at first.

But then I realized how yummy cake is. Do you like how my hands are planted on the sides of the cake, in prime birthday cake eating fashion. I could have used something called a fork, but why? I was much more interested in just biting the cake myself than waiting for people to feed me.

My Birthday, Part One

2010-04-07T12:10:00.001-05:00

This is me with my cousin Kristen...sorry about your head, dear cousin! I had to show off my stylish birthday outfit.

This is Dada's family! Aunt Stacey, Makenna, Kristen, Mama, Grandma, Dada, Me, and Grandpa. I'm so lucky they all came to see me for the weekend!

This is part of Mama's side of the family. Auntie Christie, Ethan, Kaven, Makenna, and me. Notice Mama didn't have me changed yet...she looked a little frazzled before the party!

I got SUPER spoiled on my birthday. This is Mama's friend Karen, who got me that cute outfit Mama's holding. Makenna says I look like a golfer in it. What is a golfer?

I got a little restless with the whole present thing. So I got to sit in one of my most favorite places in the world...with my Auntie Emmie. I just love her. Great Grandma brought me that giraffe from Ohio. I LOVE it, and play with it. By play with it, I mean that I chew on it's head, A LOT.

From This.....To This

2010-04-02T12:48:00.001-05:00

It is hard to believe that the first pictures were taken when she was a day or so old. The last two were taken the day after her first birthday, on Sunday, March 14th. She was baptised and had her big party all in the same day. What a big girl she has become!

A Letter of Love

2010-03-14T05:21:00.000-05:00

Dearest Mavvie Renee,

One year ago we received the honor of becoming your parents. It seems like it's totally impossible that you are one. I remember your birth like it was yesterday. You wanted to join the world early, but we had to stop you....several times! Finally, three weeks early, you made your first appearance into the world. Dada cried, Mama was asleep, and it was magical for everyone involved.

You were supposed to be around 6 pounds when you were born, according to some testing that was done. Instead, you were 8 pounds, 7 ounces and 20 3/4 inches long. You were beautiful, round, and amazing. You looked like Mama and Makenna, and we were all thrilled that you were finally here.

You gave us plenty of scares in those first minutes of your life, honey. You had low blood sugar, were stuck on Mama's pelvic bone so you had some palsy in your face, and one of your blood tests that they took came out different. Yet, you were perfect...in every way, shape, and form. Ten fingers, ten toes, a small amount of sweet newborn hair, and the most beautiful blue eyes I'd ever seen. Oh how I prayed your eyes would stay blue because I could get lost in them forever.

You were snuggly, loving, sweet, and Dada's girl from the moment we could hold you. You preferred sleeping on his chest, his touches were those that calmed you. He wouldn't let you down for a minute. I don't think he slept for days because he was so busy looking at you. As much as he held your heart, you held his even more.

Thank you for teaching me a lot, Miss Mavvie. I was worried when I found out that you were coming how I'd manage it all. It'd been big sister and me for a long time, and then we married Dada. It wasn't too long after we got married that we found out you were on your way. It was amazing and scary all at the same time.

You've taught me that it's okay to not be the perfect Mama. I don't know why I ever thought I had to be that, but I did. I wanted you and Makenna to have some perfect life, like they do in books. But here you were, a round cheeked newborn teaching me that lesson...life isn't perfect, but it's beautiful.

I worried about your blood sugar, your test results, your face muscles, and your eye color. I worried that you wouldn't get enough love, enough tender moments with me, enough voice to become your own little person. I worried that I was failing you by letting Dada take control, by not being 100 percent hands-on, that I couldn't be all that you are to me, to you. I even worried that I was worrying too much.

But there you were, crooked grin, sweet face, telling me that it was all okay. That I'd get the hang of this mothering of two business. That it was okay to let Dada be in charge. That perfection doesn't lie in test results, face muscles, eye color. It lies in your heart, a content heart. A heart that is filled with love from daughter number two.

It took me a long time to get over all of my worries, but time does that, I guess. It took me too, too long to realize what an amazing little human you are. You are inquisitive, quiet, and can melt my heart with that still crooked grin, winking eye, and drool that is now forever present on your chin. You, this little petite monkey, have taught me oh so many lessons. Thank you for giving me the chance to be your Mama, for being patient in my crazy moments, for snuggling when I need it, for tongue kisses, for all that you have taught me.

For you, Mavvie Renee, a letter of love. A letter that was hard to find the words to fill the page, not because I didn't have anything to say, but because you are special in millions of ways, it's hard to find the right words.

A letter of love, from the heart, for my Mavvie Monkey. Thank you for being you, for making me who I am today, for changing our lives, for teaching us lessons on love and family.

Happy First Birthday!

Love, Mama

Drama and Discovery

2010-02-22T09:07:00.000-06:00

Happy Monday, if there is such a thing! I had an interesting weekend, to say the least. It started on Friday, when I got to work, and drama began about my Facebook account. I won't go into details, but let's just say there was drama, lots of it. So I cried and I was stressed and it really got to me. Then I looked at the sea of little faces I'm blessed to see everyday and realized that I don't care what people think about what I post. They need a life if they can't handle a parent talking. So I worked with my kids and we had a great day!

After getting home, hanging out with the girls, and relaxing, my husband asked me what had happened. I told him the whole story. He laughed. He giggled. He sat with me on the couch, and said not to worry. Of course I was all riled up again, and he did what he does. He rubbed my back and said that it was all a mess, and not worry about it. So I took his advice.

I'm a worrier. I can't help it. I worry that I'm worrying too much. Yes, it's insane, but I do it. So this weekend, full of giggles, dancing, singing, rushed shopping, stress, headaches, too late dinners, hugs and kisses. I discovered that the last thing in the world to worry about was my stupid Facebook. Most people wouldn't have given the drama another thought. I let it consume me, when I have so much more to think about.

This was a weekend of discovery for me. I discovered that people get to me too, too much. That my annoyance is partly at myself for getting so annoyed. That I don't have time or desire for drama. That I have two amazingly beautiful little girls that I'd give the world and my sanity for. And finally, that my husband is so right about so much. He doesn't stress, doesn't get riled. He's calm and rational.

I discovered that my life is good, hectic, but good! I realized amongst the drama and discovery that God is so Good to me, and that is what I need to remember, not what someone says or thinks.

It's Hard To Put Into Words

2010-02-16T16:27:00.000-06:00

Yesterday was a very tough day for my sister and I, and really, the rest of our family. It was the 9th anniversary of our Mom's death. As I sat on the loveseat, teary, Mak asked what was wrong. It's hard to put into words what happened, why it happened, and how I still feel when I think about how much I truly miss her. It's a different miss than missing a Grandparent who has passed away, or a friend. It's deeper, more hurtful, more...heartbreaking. I think it would have been different if we'd have been older, or if she had been older, because you kind of get used to the idea of your parents dying at an older age. But she wasn't, she was 49. I think that's what makes it hard, and not being able to say goodbye, a real goodbye, face to face with someone full of life.

As I tried to explain it, and the tears flowed, Mak grabbed me as only she can, and hugged and cried with me. And then, she did what ever little girl does, she hugged tighter, and said she was sorry, sad that it happened, and that she wanted to read books just like Grandma Coleen did. And so we did.

Death is an odd thing. Sometimes it makes you feel super sad, but super happy that you ever got the chance to know that person. It makes your heart hurt in the most agonizing way, but fills that same heart with love and admiration for those still physically in your life. It's hard to put into words, I think.

So nine years ago, my heart lost part of itself. As awful as that was, I've learned a lot since then. I've learned to love more, laugh more often, and to never forget. I've learned most importantly to cherish the moments with people I love, because all too quickly, those moments can be taken away.

To Mom, I love and miss you more than words and tears can say. You were a special light that I know is shining down on us daily, keeping the light in us alive. Love, Wendy

A Week of Funnies....

2010-02-05T21:04:00.001-06:00

So we have been super busy trying to get along with daily life, so I've been a little bit lazy posting. Here are a few funny things that have been said in our house. :)

After drinking a champagne glass full of chocolate milk, Makenna exclaimed, "MAN WON!!!" Apparently we have been watching way too much Man vs. Food. (Yes, we're classy like that....we have one champagne glass and it's used for chocolate milk.)

Today, after discussing flying my Grandma here for Mavvie's baptism, I was explaining to David that she's mentioned that she wishes she could see the girls more often. This is exactly what I said to him: "Does that make sense? I mean, I guess if your Grandma was coherent she'd feel the same way." I didn't mean for it to come out that way, it just does....sorry!

Me: I have to poo.
E: Then go. (my sis btw)
Me: Okay, thanks. Although I'm scared of the KMart bathroom.
E: LOL
Me: From a text inside the facilities. "Great...someone else just came in. I can't drop bombs under these conditions."
E: OMG.
(Yes, I share everything with her!)

The people that live above us are full of drama, domestic drama to be exact. Now, I'm not judging or anything, but seriously, if David beat me....he'd be on the floor and I'd be out the door with the girls. We got home today, Valentines Day, to an ambulance, three cop cars, and her telling the cops that they got into it over the holiday. Seriously? Here's what I said to David...."If we ever get into a fight over Valentine's Day, and I have to call the cops, we are SO breaking up."
He responded..."Agreed."

Okay, this isn't an ism, but a final thought...I was so proud last night of The Doodle. She sang in her first ever talent show at our church. :) She sang/rapped about Peanut Butter and Jelly. Be on the look-out for video.

She's Been Begging....And I Finally Said YES!

2010-01-22T23:10:00.001-06:00

So this is The Doodlebop.....with straight hair. If you don't know her, it's no biggie, I know. BUT, homegirl has some curls like I can't even describe. She's begged and begged and begged to get her hair straightened for a few months. Tonight I had to go get my hair re-colored, and the stylist did this to her head and gave her a trim.

She's been so funny. She told people at the mall that she'd gotten her hair cut and uncurled. She's flipped it in every direction, flopped her head around, and apparently believes she's in a shampoo commercial or a model the way the hair's been flyin'.

I felt a mixture of happiness and sadness while this was going on. Happy because she was SO excited. Yet sad because she's growing up too fast. She looks older with her hair this way, which means she is getting older. I miss the days of her crawling around and wanting to be held all of the time. However I look forward to the days of helping her pick out outfits for school, her reading me stories, and just learning what kind of young lady she will be.

Doin' The Dew!

2010-01-16T08:58:00.001-06:00

The other day, Mama asked Dada to get some treats for her kids at school. So we went to the store and he got donuts and juices. I was STARVING and ended up breaking into the donuts and enjoying part of my first Krispy Kreme. (Yes Mama got after Dada about that.) Then he thought it would be funny if he sent this picture to Mama with me holding something called Mountain Dew. He laughed and laughed especially when I put it up to my mouth like I was going to drink it. She wasn't so amused, but still thinks I'm cute. I guess this is different than formula or juice!

Isn't My Big Sister Pretty?

2010-01-16T08:50:00.000-06:00

My sister got this dress for Christmas, and she's been begging Mama and Dada to wear it forever. They finally agreed this morning. I just think she's so pretty! I hope someday soon I'll be big like her so I can wear neat dresses.

Sisterly Love

2010-01-15T13:29:00.001-06:00

Stylin'

2010-01-15T13:27:00.000-06:00

The First Crawl!!

2010-01-09T19:35:00.000-06:00

I feel like I talk a lot about Makenna. Partially because she's older and has more going on. Partially because she likes to be filmed now. Mavvie is catching up to her sister in the filming department. Now that I know how to do this whole putting video on blog thing, I'll share some of Mav's highlights. This clip is of her first crawl...ever. Unfortunately it happened when David was in the hospital, so I was lucky to catch it on camera for him. He missed the girls terribly, so the video helped. It's hard to believe just six short weeks ago she was just beginning to crawl, and now...she's ready to walk. Enjoy!

Our Performer

2010-01-09T18:37:00.000-06:00

Makenna loves to perform. Seems like a no-brainer right, but it isn't! When she was little, well smaller little, she hated to sing in front of people. She would stand at the front of the church, get teary, and run to my arms and comfortable lap. On the way home from these performances, she'd sing at the top of her lungs the previously mentioned song.

At the ripe old age of four, this all changed. She's a performer. She loves to sing, dance, and tell jokes. I love it! So, here's my first video post, an original song by Makenna entitled, "The Night Light Song." Which by the way, is dedicated to her sister. The video is the ending, or grand finale of the song. Sorry about the shaking, I was laughing. And no, David doesn't always look so rough.

Show Me Your Wrestling Face!

2010-01-09T09:42:00.000-06:00

When you've been inside for several days because it's too cold to think about going outside, this is what happens. Wrestling faces!!!

Dear Santa

2009-12-29T08:15:00.000-06:00

At Makenna's school, they wrote letters to Santa. Well, the teachers wrote them, and filled in what the kids wanted to ask for. Makenna proudly showed me hers. It read, "Dear Santa, I want a rainbow for Christmas." I asked her how Santa was going to bring her a rainbow, and she simply explained that she'd been good, so he'd find a way.

Well, Santa found a way. He found a Jim Shore Noah's Ark cross with a rainbow on it. It's beautiful, and perfect for the girls' room. The best part was Makenna's reaction. It went like this.

"Mak, open this, it's from Santa!"
"HEEE OOOHHH HHAAA, I LOVE SANTA!!"
"Hahaha, just open it. Oh, it looks like Santa left a message for you."
"READ IT, READ IT, READ IT, READ IT!!!"
"Dear Makenna, I hope you like your rainbow. Love, Santa."
She opened the box, looked at the cross, welled up with tears and said, "Oh THANK YOU, THANK YOU, SANTA" while clutching the cross to her chest.

Throughout the day, she'd play with her new toys, make a fashion show for us, and yet she always went back to the cross, and clutched it to her chest. I hope she always remembers the cross, the feeling of overwhelming love she felt when she opened it, and the simple child joy in the gift.

Isms...

2009-12-29T08:12:00.000-06:00

"Holy Smokes, Mama...this is delicious!" exclaimed Makenna, after tasting homemade salt free bread that I'd just made. I didn't realize I'd given birth to the old school Batman.

I've become a little addicted to http://www.pogo.com/ and their online Boggle game. While playing one night, David giggled and said, "Dick." I typed it in and kind of game him a look. This was his response: "You know that's short for Richard, right?" Apparently, I'm an idiot.

"Ho-nk, Ho-nk, Ho-nk!" said Mavvie, learning that she could make Daddy go look for geese outside the sliding glass doors.

We were out at the mall so that Makenna could run and get some energy out at the indoor play area. Well, she was playing with a homely kid. She then found a cute boy and totally ditched the homely boy. The following is what her father said.
"Get his number, he's a cute kid."
"He is cute, isn't he?"
"Yes, they'd make cute babies...we'll be great grandparents."
(Keep in mind, Mak's 4 and this other kid was about the same age.)

While moaning on the couch, snuggled with the heating pad due to my monthly holiday time...I asked David to make me feel better. "Did you want some whine?" He claims he meant wine, but I was not in the mood for his little joke. "Ya know what, David? I'm going to have the girls jump on your boys while I stab you, and THEN you'll know what it feels like."

What funny things have you said lately?

Finally Free!!!

2009-12-28T10:35:00.001-06:00

For Christmas this year, we got what a lot of people wish for....a completely White Christmas. It was beautiful! It was windy, cold, and snowy. It was blizzardy....and lovely. It was also close. Very Close. As in, we couldn't leave the apartment close. As in, we couldn't go outside at all for fear of losing the children close. As in, my calm husband looked at me and said, "We have to get out of here....now." And so....we did.

The day after Christmas, we got out. We took a necklace back, the one seen on Mak, because it's chain was totally knotted. We'd gotten my sister a ring also that needed to be sized, so we went where anyone would go.....to the mall. They have an indoor playground, so the girls, Mak really, could run.

And so we went. We went out in the cold, wind, and snow, the blowing snow to be exact. It was glorious! We got stuck once, going to pick up my sister, but it was okay. We had a great time....it was fun to be outside, playing with the snow, feeling the bone-chilling wind on our faces.

As you can see in the picture, Makenna was beyond thrilled to get out. Mavvie was just wondering why there was a stupid headband hat on her head. What loves they are truly are!

Thankful

2009-11-25T21:19:00.000-06:00

A little more than two weeks ago, David literally died. He had no pulse, no blood pressure, and a heart that was beating 200 beats per minute that were not effective. I saw it with my own eyes, heard, "He's not responsive, CODE BLUE, CODE BLUE!!!" I ushered myself out of room 765, praying for God's will to be done, either way. I cried, sat on the floor, praying that he wasn't in pain, and making a plan of what I needed to do as a single mother of two beautiful girls. At last, I found out that he had been revived and was heading to ICU.

In ICU, he had to be put on a ventilator, sedated, and I later found out, tied down so he wouldn't try to pull out everything that was keeping him alive. The doctors were puzzled as to what happened, even going as far as telling me that they really thought he wasn't going to make it during CPR, and having me retell the same story of what had been going on over and over again. Sleep wasn't a priority, but making sure I didn't miss anything with him was. He'd been gone before my eyes once, and I wasn't leaving to let it happen again. Finally, after being awake for nearly 40 hours, I rested, with prayers that he be well taken care of, and that things turn for the better on Friday.

It was amazing to watch him recovery so quickly. After attempting to take out the ventilator early Friday, and having to redo it, it did come out later that morning. He was eating lunch, then dinner, and tired. We found out that he had two blood clots in his heart, and so the plan was to dissolve those. So we had a plan, but no answers.

Eventually, we got up to the cardiac floor, where he recovered quickly, took walks, rested, and thought about all that had happened. We met with cardiologists, hospitalists, dietitians, cardiac rehab people, and others. I have pages of notes of daily progress, things that were going on, things that needed to be addressed, and thoughts of the doctors.

We were there a week, and finally got to come home Wednesday before Thanksgiving. It brought on a whole new meaning to being thankful. I have always been thankful for things, but NOW. WOW....I get it.

It's been a long few weeks since all of this has happened, and I look at him, my girls, my family and friends with new eyes. Life is good, love is good, and being thankful is something I will never take for granted again. We have a long road ahead of us, but a road that will be done together, hand in hand, with lots of laughs, no matter what is given to us.

Do you have a lot to be thankful for? Stop and think....and remind people that they are a blessing in your life.

Eight Months Ago...

2009-11-13T20:01:00.000-06:00

Eight months ago, our world changed for the better in a short amount of time. My due date was April 1, 2009 but Mavvie got to come into our lives three weeks early, for a variety of reasons.

The last eight months have flown by. She is a "big" girl now. She's all over the place, has two teeth, eating lots of fruits and veggies, along with itty bity pieces of bread and those puffy things that have fruit in them. She's in 9 monthish clothes, has outgrown her socks, and really most of her clothes. She's sitting up, likes to "stand" on our laps, and loves to chat and giggle.

She has shown me how hard motherhood is, in a whole different way than it was with Makenna. Having two is just hard. Balancing time for each of them individually, time for David, time for work, time for friends, time for me....it just doesn't always happen. I was naive to think that it would be easy. Silly to think that adding one to our little family would just feel like it did with the first one.

In all truths, I've dealt a lot with post-partum depression, struggled to stay sane some days, been too hard on both of the girls, David and myself. It's been hard, super hard. Between the late nights, early mornings, breastfeeding, trying to keep breastfeeding, baby weight drama, Mavvie's palsy issues, and just life, it's been a very uphill battle for me.

But tonight, as I sit on the couch watching my girls snuggle, giggle, and squeal with delight at the smallest things I know that it's all going to be okay. They are SO different in many ways, from physical looks to personalities, to the way they laugh. Yet they are the same, seeing things for the first time, laughing at silly voices, loving to read books, and watch the colors of Clifford the Big Red dog pass across the television screen.

So eight months ago feels like yesterday, as I remember all that I was going through as a Mom of two girls. While it's good to remember, it's better to move on to love each moment of each day with them, their bright eyes, and eager smiles.

To Makenna, eight months ago you became a big sister, and I've been worried about that. You aren't just a big sister, you're an amazing big sister that holds a part of my heart with your name on it forever and always. Your willingness to help, to make me laugh, to cry with me, makes my heart melt daily. You love to learn, to share, to read, to talk, and to snuggle. Thank you for making me a good Mama, for teaching me that it's okay to make mistakes and that a kiss really can fix anything that is going on. Thank you for being carefree, for singing like nobody is listening, for dancing like nobody is watching, and for encouraging me to see the good in everything and everyone.

To Mavvie, eight months ago, God decided it was time for you to come into our lives. You have had your share of struggles from the moment you joined us through now, and you continue to thrive. You are happy, giggly, and have a smile that melts my heart. You love to talk to us, tell us stories, and let your opinion of everything be known. You love your sister so much, and your Daddy as well. I can't wait to share life with you, and see it through your eyes. Thank you for teaching me to love more than I ever though possible, for making me a good Mama too, and for snuggling with me when I've had a hard day. You bring a calmness to my heart that is much needed. You are absolutely an awesome little sister that challenges the world to be as happy as you are, and you too, have a special place carved in my heart forever and always.

To both of you, thank you for raising me up so I can be all that I can be. Love and hugs to you both!

Love, Mama

Halloween 2009

2009-11-03T22:18:00.000-06:00

Short and Sweet

2009-10-27T21:58:00.000-05:00

Due to the fact that I'm tired, I will leave this post short and sweet, much like my two girls, and well, me. LOL...seriously.

The girls have been sick since last week. I was trying to determine if Makenna's fever was back, so I was feeling her head, her back, every piece of skin on her from her belly button up. I finally found the thermometer, and it was lower than what I thought it would be. I asked David if he thought we needed a new battery. His thoughts, "Well, she just ate a Popsicle....maybe her body is trying to warm itself up from that." Yeah, I thought it was insane as well.

And the highlight of my day is something that happened early this morning. I was taking my students homework when one of them came up to me with several papers. They were late, and I was too tired to give him another lecture. As I graded them, one of them was sticky and smelly. Now, I was concerned because it also had brown spots where things were glued on. The work was perfect, but it looked bizarre. I gave him a look, and his response...."So we didn't have any glue or tape...or staples. So I used maple syrup."

Amazing for a kid to think of....and yet I was struck that it was so funny. I have extra glue that I'll send home during conferences. :)

Did you ever do homework with unusual materials?

PS)Don't forget to get your flu shots!!!

Isms, Volume 2

2009-10-17T20:15:00.000-05:00

Singing, "Mama's gonna buy you a baby sh*t and if that..." "WHAT DID YOU SAY?" "A baby zebra?" An exchange between Makenna and myself, to the tune of Hush Little Baby.

Last night, I was rushing to the gas station and then to bell choir practice. I knew we were running on fumes, but didn't know that we were that low. So yes, I ran out of gas. Luckily, I could pull into a driveway. I called David, his phone was off. I called my dad, he didn't answer. Finally I called my friend LeAnn. She saved us. Well, while waiting for her I kept trying to turn the car on and off. Mak played with the lights, windows, and radio. In a few short minutes, LeAnn put in the gas, and my car still didn't start. Apparently, you aren't supposed to mess with the car when you've run out of gas. So her husband had to come jump me. In a chat with my sister while I was waiting for the gas, my car's message area said, "LOW FUEL." My response, "Don't mock me, stupid car." She laughed hysterically.

My sister is waiting to hear about a job that she has applied for within her company. She was supposed to find out on Monday. It's Wednesday now and as far as I know she still hasn't heard anything. Emmie just tells me to be patient, because I want her to get the job, since she deserves it and all. She says, "Patience, patience." I say, "You and this patience thing....it's annoying."

Emmie, "Do you watch those pageant shows on TLC?"
Me, "Do I have a lot of gray hair?"
Emmie, "WHAT?"
Me, "As in...of course, I'm a reality show whore, remember?"
Emmie, "Why yes, you are."

Makenna, after sneezing into her elbow, "Did you like my vampire sneeze cover-up?"

Makenna to Mavvie, "I just love your face, but your poop stinks."

And finally....we were working on the sl sound in my classroom. I said, "Let's think of sl words, like sled, slump." And a little first grade voice said, "OOOOH, SLUT!!!" And I was floored yet again by a room of mostly six-year-okds.

Ignorance

2009-10-07T21:30:00.000-05:00

Today a large group of kids from my school, a few parents, some teachers, our principal, a highway patrolman, and a community member celebrated National Walk To School Day. We met in a church parking lot that has a few members that volunteer with our kids, and isn't too far from the school, and walked safely into our building. Some of the kids held signs about walking safely, that were in both English and Spanish, as we are an ELL school. It was chilly, especially because one of the first graders didn't have a jacket so I gave him mine, and because I was wearing flip flops, and because the temp was around 50 degrees. Yet, it was fun. I got to hold one of my students hands, explain to him and a few others why we need to walk safely, and bond with them. I was the only first grade teacher that decided to walk with the kids, so it was a fight to get in line closest to me.

The local newspaper came out, took a few pictures and interviewed one of the parents, students, and some adults. The story came out this afternoon in the online version of the paper. We were all excited to read it, and to show it to our students with our projectors. Our school doesn't get much publicity, as we aren't a magnet school, we do what we need to do for testing, and just kind of keep to ourselves.

My excitement was double because a lot of my students got into the picture. And then, I read what people said about the article. Well, not about the article, but about the school, my school, where my heart and sweat, and tears are used up daily.

The following are what people wrote:

well hell. it will be harder to dodge and weave through the kids now that they're holding those yellow signs.

it would be nice to
be able to read the signs, i speak English and i read English. so i guess that means that if the sign is in Spanish then i dont have to do what it says.

You will get the polictically correct crowd after you. I see they put a token white kid in each picture. LOL!

all im saying is i dont know what the signs say. i dont read or speak spanish. and i really dont give a flying fleap if someone gets mad about what i said.

Do they teach english at ross elementary?

As the mother of token WHITE kid, if you look at the pics you will see they are in english and spanish. Maybe you should learn how to read english!!!!!!! I really think the safety of our children brown, black, or white is the only concern.

How can people be so ignorant, is my question? Seriously, this was about teaching kids to walk safely. I am so angry that people are this ignorant about life in a school. My guess is that they have never, ever set foot in my school, nor will they ever. They have never met the kids, who sometimes have issues, but are good kids. They have never taught kids that don't know what a farm is like, been out of Topeka, and don't know when their parent might get out of jail. Granted all of the kids aren't like this, but a lot of them are. It angers me to think that people think that our school is just ghetto because it's in a certain part of town, which by the way, is an okay part. I grew up in this neighborhood, went to this school, and have turned out to be a fairly good member of society.

So if you made those comments, or make comments like those about a school, think about it first. If you aren't willing to spend time in that place, then shut it. Don't be a moron. Really....don't be a jackass.

Isms....

2009-09-27T07:38:00.000-05:00

Normally, I write about Makennaisms, or my students isms, or Davidisms. Today, it's just isms, because they are from a variety of people.

A co-worker of my sisters, "Are you being sarcastic, Emilie?" Emilie, "No, I'm not being sarcastic, it's just my smart wit."

Me to a student, "PLEASE stop talking. You haven't stopped since you got here at 8:00 this morning, and it's 2:50 in the afternoon." Slapping his hands over his eyes, leaning back he replied, "Jesus Christ, I just can't be quiet."

Makenna, "I like your dress and your hair. GEEZ, HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I SAID THAT TODAY?" We were at the Renaissance Festival in KC.

Me to my sister, "Ya know, you are much smarter than I am." Emmie, "Well. I mean....no, I'm not."

Me as I was calling the students to line up from recess, yelling of course, "GUYS, HOLD YOUR BALLS." And yes, even at 6 and 7, a couple of them grabbed them. I was talking about the playground equipment.

Me, "David, why is your hair spiked like that?" David, "What? I like it spiked?" Me, "So do 10-year-old boys, so you are too old for that." "Can I wear it like this around the house?" "Did you want me to make fun of you all of the time?" "How about when you aren't here, around Mak and Mav?" "No." "How about just Mav?" "Well, do you want to scar her for life? You look like a hedgehog." Needless to say, he will not be spiking his hair.

"UGH UGH UGH. Mrs. B, I GOT SNOT, I GOT SNOT." Me, "Get a tissue, please. Oh, and go wash your hands for like 5 minutes."

"Mama, that's a great idea," said Makenna. Of course, a lot of things I suggest are great ideas, anytime a movie, pizza or staying up late are involved, those things are great ideas.

Singing, "YOU AR-RE GOOOD, ALL THE TIME, ALL THE TIME, YOU AR-RE GOO-OOD. HALLALULAH, HALLALULAH!" In gospel stylings of a four-year-old.

If you read my Sunday funnies, you know all about BK and David's "meat." This is a text from him a few days later, "So, any comments about my meat?"

What are funny things that you have heard lately?

Sunday Funnies

2009-09-20T21:24:00.001-05:00

I love reading the Sunday funnies....they really are funny. I love it when life is funny like the comics. These were some of our Sunday funnies that happened today.

Mak: "OOH, I love this song." Me: "Oh, me too." David: "I like this song too." Me: Singing, "Clumsy cuz I'm fallin' in love." David: "Who sings this song? Ferbie?" Me: "OMG. Are you serious? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!"

Mak singing, "Apple Bottom Jeans, boots with the fur..." Me: "She loves that song." David: "I have no idea what she is even singing about."

In the drive thru at Burger King, David had a pound of turkey deli meet on his lap. It wasn't in a grocery bag, just the clear zip-lock bag that the deli gives you when you buy it. I didn't think anything about it. We were at the window, paying for our food when the worker's eyes got BIG and she kind of blushed. Well, I looked over at what she was looking at and immediately started to giggle. She was looking in David's, um, nether regions, shall we say. Well apparently, she thought he was, um, exposed, and was rather embarrassed that she saw it, or thought she saw it. She immediately did a double take, closed the window and I heard a muffled, "I thought it was his...." As you can imagine, I was dying laughing at this point.

All in all, a pretty funny Sunday. Has anything made you laugh today?

The Time My Aunt Tried To Kill Me....or Whale Watching

2009-09-16T20:04:00.000-05:00

I love my Aunt J. She is in all aspects of the words, a true lovely flower. She is always there to talk, to listen, to chat with me while I walk into our dark, slightly ghetto apartment to make sure we get in safely. Never mind that she lives in California, and I live in Kansas and there wouldn't be much she could do if some ghetto ass decided to rob, mug, or just be mean to the girlies and myself.

Aunt J is amazing. She makes me laugh, listens to me cry, makes me laugh til I cry, and is just an awesome possum. She has always been awesome and will always be awesome, even when she's 95....which is a LONG ways away. She's just THAT cool.

All of the nieces and nephews want to go visit her because she's super duper fun. When I was a senior in high school, my parents allowed me to go to Sacramento for my spring break to spend some quality time with her. We went all over Sacramento, Carmel, Monterrey Bay, and my favorite...San Francisco. Aunt J asked me if I'd like to go whale watching....it seemed harmless enough in my land-locked KS mind. I thought we'd be on a cruise ship type of thing...and we weren't.

We made our way to SF and there was a chill in the air, and clouds in the sky. The water looked awfully choppy, but I was a trooper, and got on this dinky little death trap they wanted to call a boat. NOW...I don't swim, I don't like water, heck, I don't even fish or like fish. But a whale...surely they must be beautiful, right? Surely they are majestic mammals that I'll see tons of while on this journey on the sea.

Instead of seeing whales, I saw huge waves crashing into the boat. I saw clouds, clouds, and more clouds. It was wet, cold, and windy. At one point, I decided to go into the little cabin thingy....and promptly got green from motion sickness. Holding back her giggles, Aunt J informed me that I needed fresh air and to come back up to the deck.

And this is when I saw death. It was rocky, very, very rocky as I made my way up the stairs. I got to the top of them, was turning around when I heard shrieks. I turned just in time to get toppled over by a wave that came over the side of the boat....and over the top of me. Seriously? Yes, y'all, seriously. And so, the boat turned around and we headed back to shore.

On the way back, the sun came out, the wind stopped, and the sea calmed. And I was wet, covered with salt, and still hadn't seen a damn whale. We got off the boat and Aunt J tried to keep herself together. She asked if I wanted to walk around the city to see somethings. I gave her an insulted look and replied, "Well, no. I don't think the salt that is stuck in my skin and hair is a good look for being out in public." I tried to smile at her, but the salt hurt my face.

Thirteen years later, I have gone once more whale watching with her.....didn't die, but did vomit. I saw dolphins, but no whales.

All in all, the story is SO FUNNY to me now. Aunt J, when you read this....I love you and am so glad I had this experience with you...it wouldn't have been nearly as fun with anyone else. :)

Did You Know?????

2009-09-15T21:56:00.001-05:00

On a "good" day, Amy Winehouses' beehive is six inches high. (http://www.people.com/ is my source y'all.)

That patooty is a common word used by my Hispanic students instead of tush, bottom or the ever popular bootay said by the rest of my class.

That I failed an eighth grade math test I took online. Seriously...I'm a dork.

I hate fish. I hate shrimp. I hate crabs, lobster, and anything from the sea.

To a four-year-old, bleeding from any hole in your body is a crisis....so don't let them in the bathroom with you during that special week.

Having a kid messes up your insides for months and months to come.

I have a fear of drowning. I hate to be surprised.

I'm desperate to find out what a male ballerina is called. Until I find this out, I will call them "Ballarinos."

And even though I have a kid that is racially mixed, I've been called racist by many parents that think I am picking on their kid. Seriously....?????

Oh, and some people are just asses that shouldn't be allowed to reproduce because they say things like, "Yes, Mrs. B., I know you have a mixed kid, but I bet you don't like the non-white parts of her."

Seriously.....ugh.

For Me or For HIM?

2009-09-15T21:10:00.000-05:00

Every single day of my little life, I read people's blogs. I love them, what can I say? From Rude Cactus to Lilu to my cousin Kara to my sister to my college friend Ms. Scorpio....I read them. Sometimes I re-read them and giggle, get teary, or have a gross out moment to end all gross out moments. I love stories, even from people I don't know. I've never met some of the people I read, but I feel like I am part of their lives, as they "share" with their readers great life stories. Tonight, I was reading Lilu and was inspired.

Lilu is in all sense of the words....a true LOVE CHICKEN. She is by far one of the funniest people I've never met. She has over 1000 followers on her blog. While that made me depressed at my 6, it was inspiring. She is a blogess....a blog goddess, for those of you that weren't quick enough to be with me on that one.

After reading these stories, I realized I could be sharing more. Not just the Mama stories and the teacher stories, but the "me" stories. So, here you go.

I love to sing. More than just loving to sing...I love to sing loud. I sing in the car, sing in the shower, sing while going potty, even sing to my students about getting their names on their paper, the days of the week, and even to get quiet. I sing while cooking, eating, driving, talking on the phone, getting dressed, talking to my lil' chickens. Not only do I love to sing, I'm not a half bad singer...so I've been told. My dream job would be to be a singer. Not a background singer, I've done that for Barry Manilow at a concert here in Topeka, and it sucked. But a real singer. I'm no Beyonce' or Mariah, but I think I could hold my own with Taylor Swift live...she's never that great.

My sister and I sing together, sometimes as a duet during a road trip, sometimes in a trio with the P.W. We really want to make a CD of the trio, because we are neat sounding together. It'd be awesome to do.....but then it's really vain to want to do something like that to say..."Hey, I'm a Christian girl....and hey...I have a cd." Seems a little self-promotional to me.

So where do I draw the line? Where does being faithful cross over to being a self-promotional moron that is just doing it for myself, and not for God? We went to a different church this past weekend to hear a friend's Praise Band. HOLY MAJOLY...they were amazing. Their leader has a cd out. He's good, very, very, very good. He's one that isn't doing it for himself, but realizing his dream while spreading the word of God. It's refreshing, compared to what I see from our Praise Band at my church.

Is it just a feeling that one gives off that says, "Hey, buy my cd cuz I'm a dang rock star?" vs. "Hey, buy my cd cuz it glorifies God through me with a gift that HE's given me?" I don't have the answers, but I wish I did.

What is your dream? What would you do, if you weren't being you right now?

I Hate Story Problems or Seven Penises

2009-09-03T17:57:00.000-05:00

This week in my class, we learned about story problems. I hate these things, but must teach them. Well, I have to teach the little lovelies to label their answers or it is incorrect. Now I was not a good labeler when I was a kiddo, but have learned to stress the importance of these. We practice this daily in our calendar time, so I was confident that they would do a good job. I was wrong.

They looked at me like I was a total moron as I used pictures, pencils, paper clips, cut-out soccer balls and anything else I could get my hands on to help them figure out how to answer these devils math problems. Finally, after sweating, pleading, and nearly crying....and that was just me....I told them that we'd continue the next day.

Fast forward 24 hours. We went over their homework that I'd already collected. It was a worksheet with story problems on it that was to be completed at home with an adult or older sibling. After the hour long lecture on labeling.....NONE OF THEM LABELED. And so, we practiced.

I had them get out their white boards, erasers, and markers and we worked several million problems on their boards together. I had them label them as I was labeling them. They were getting good at this, so I decided to let them label one on their own. The following is how it all went down:

Me: "Marquez had 5 pennies. Then, he got 2 more from Julia. How many pennies did he have total? Remember...LABEL!!!"

As I looked around the room, I saw 8 out of 12 boards that looked like this, "7 PENISES."

Me: "Sound out the word pennies."

8 boards: "7 PENISSES."

And I laughed and laughed and laughed to myself, but kept it together for the children. So I have learned, maybe story problems aren't that bad after all.

A Walk/Run and Alligator Poop

2009-08-31T13:19:00.000-05:00

Happy Monday, well, if there is such a thing, I hope yours is happy! We had an eventful weekend, including a 5K walk/run with my sister, which we finished in under an hour, which is a major accomplishment since I haven't worked out in months. We rock...it's okay to say it to me!

We also had a couple of picnics, church, youth group, shopping, and finally some sleeping to do. So it was rather busy, but all in all kind of fun.

Em and I were to do the 2K walk that was sponsored by her company, Blue Cross Blue Shield of Kansas. However, when we got there, I told her I thought we should do the 5K. After all, we are going to be doing a four mile walk/run in November. So, I thought it'd just be a grand idea to try it now. While we had a good time, sweated in the cool air, and even sprinted a bit...thanks Emmie for making me do that....we realized that we need to get it together if we plan to run this four mile thing in the winterish weather. It was a great bonding time, a time to push and encourage each other, and a time to laugh and giggle til we almost had to leave the trail to relieve ourselves. However, we're not so good at identifying poison ivy, and would rather not have it in The Netherlands. We were no where near first, but more importantly, we were no where near last, which made us feel AWESOME POSSUM!

Being that the seasons are changing, it's time to get new jeans, etc for the girls. Makenna has outgrown every pair of jeans she owned last year, so Em and I went on a trek with Mak for new ones. Let's just say it was rather unsuccessful, as I wasn't paying an arm and a leg for jeans for a kid. In true Makenna fashion, she told us all kinds of stories about the bad kids in her class, how she is truly a princess, was starving to death and my favorite...that her poop looked like an alligator. It all went down like this:

Me: "Mak, do you need to potty?"
Mak: "Yes."
Me: "Do you need help or are you good?"
Mak: "MOMMY....I'm good."
Me: "Chill out, I was just asking."
Mak: "WHOA. It's not ready to come out. Oh wait, it is, never mind."
Me: "What? Are you okay?"
Mak: "It's an alligator poop....it has a tail."
Me: "Ha...just flush it."

After she'd washed her hands and came to talk to me as we were waiting for Emmie, she said,
"Mama....it was a big one. It was hard to push out. It gave me tears. I hate it when that happens." "Oh honey, so do I."

All in all, a productive weekend. My shins are still sore from our trek, but I'm just super proud of us.

What's the last thing that you did that you are proud of? Share with all of us your story of glory!

A Cold, Parent Orientation, and Vomit

2009-08-28T11:18:00.000-05:00

Happy Friday, y'all! I don't know that I've been so glad to see Friday since the Friday that I had Mavvie. And that was a more than welcome sight, as you know.

This has been a trying week for me. I've been fighting a cold, fighting with the kids to get quiet, fighting with Makenna to stay in bed, and fighting with Mavvie to stop crying and let me put her down. I haven't seen David, so we haven't been able to fight. Amidst the talking, giggling, and locusts on a leash I have sent two kids out of the room for being disrespectful, three to walk the line for throwing things, and several crying because they didn't bring back their homework and missed computer lab.

On top of all of this....I have a cold, we had parent orientation last night, and I threw up after it. The cold stinks, but is bearable. Parent orientation started out lovely, except that we didn't have an interpreter, and I was talkingsuperfastbecauseIonlyhadtwentyminutesandtheydidn'tspeakenglishfastenough and then...it all went down hill. A parent/family came in a few minutes late, and the daggers started flying from eyes. I knew it was coming, but didn't expect what happened next.

As our principal announced that it was time to move on, I was cornered by this parent and interrogated as to the happenings of the day. Let's just say the lovely had a very tough day, and got a consequence of ISS for the afternoon. So, the family wasn't too thrilled. BUT, the kid lied about what went down during the day, etc, etc, etc.

Instead of being able to say good-bye to the other families, I was sweating bullets as the parent got louder, and louder, and LOUDER. It was both embarrassing and uncalled for. And yet...I took it. I took it calmly and rationally and didn't bat an eye when she was ripping my bootay off. I explained that nobody could learn with the behaviors that were taking place, etc, etc, etc. The other parents were just watching and trying to say good-bye, but I was caught between the words being spat at me and a hard place. Eventually, she calmed down and listened to what happened, and realized that lil lovely might not have been so lovely.

BUT, she never apologized. She never once admitted that it was inappropriate to be doing that in front of others. She never GOT the fact that she put me in a place that was uncomfortable for everyone, and I was a little too nervous to excuse myself to say thanks to the others for coming. As a parent, I get that you get upset when you hear something your kid says. As a teacher, I know not to believe everything Makenna says happens at school, and ALWAYS go to the teacher in a nice manner, rather than the ghetto attitude I can possess.

And so, with low blood sugar from not eating, with the beginnings of a headache, the anger flaring inside of me, I went home. And vomited.

Happy Weekend!

Day Ten Brings Fun Stories

2009-08-25T20:03:00.001-05:00

Today was day ten of the school year. It's been a pretty quick ten days, and yet it seems like we've been there so much longer! Since I teach young kids, first graders, lots of fun things are said all day long. Here are a few....and one from a fourth grader that was just too priceless to not share.

After hitting another student, "James" says, "I didn't hit her. I just tapped her hard with my hand."

"How long til recess?" "Five hours, now let's work on our math." "How long is five hours?"

"Come on everyone, get in line...it's not rocket science," I said. "Mrs. B? What is rocket science?"

While holding himself in his, um, "area," I said, "Johnny, do you need to potty?" "Nope, I just hold it sometimes."

"And this, first graders, is a blue tongued skink." "Did she just say blue tongued SKANK?" "I think she did."

And the best story from the first ten days of school comes from my teacher friend D. She teaches fourth grade. Apparently, a friendless kiddo in her class brought a friend to school.....on a leash. I thought it was a dog, or even, perhaps, a cat. No, dear readers, it was a LOCUST. He had tied a piece of string onto his "friend" with his mama's help, and brought it to school in a container. Are you laughing? It gets better......he took it outside for recess without permission to "walk" it. Well, the teacher on duty released the gross bug, and now the student isn't speaking to either teacher.

Stay tuned for more tales from the school!

Makennaisms Part Four

2009-08-23T07:42:00.000-05:00

When you live with an active four-year-old, a lot of funny things are said and done. Often, these things are HILARIOUS, but you aren't allowed to laugh because that would hurt her feelings. And so, another installment of Makennaisms....feel free to laugh out loud, she won't hear you.

Makenna, "Mama, I danced so hard my booty tooted." Me, "Really? Wow, that's some hard dancing." Makenna, "Wanna smell my booty to see if it stinks?"

Me, "Will you please stop smothering me....I'm having trouble breathing." "Mama, you hurt my feelings because you wouldn't let me smother you."

"Daddy, you broke Mavvie's heart." (Say it...awww, poor Daddy!)

"Mommy, the people upstairs dropped bread on our deck. Hmm, they must think we are ducks."

While looking at Mavvie's poopy diaper, "Mavvie, does that feel better? Doesn't it feel great to poo?"

"Where are we going today?" "Church." "YES. I love church!"

While at church a few weeks ago, I said, "Good morning, Dr. David." (Mak used to call our pastor Dr. David, although he's not a doctor.) She replied, "MOMMY...he's not a doctor. He's THE PASTOR DAVID." She now calls him, THE Pastor David anytime she sees him.

In a fit of anger, "REMEMBER.....it's not your problem, it's mine."

And finally, one that makes my heart happy. "Mama, you're my best mama ever." "Aren't I your only Mama?" "Well, that doesn't matter, cuz you're my BEST one."

Day One....Complete

2009-08-12T18:32:00.000-05:00

Today, August 12, 2009 was the first day of school. A new beginning, a new class, a few days of freshly opened Crayolas, routine establishing....a new start for all involved. Today, unlike any other year, I was nervous. Very nervous. I'm usually super excited, ready for the kids, tired of meetings, lesson planned out. For some reason, this year was different. August 12 and the word dread were synonyms.

Yet, today went well. Super well, in fact. The kids were chatty, but that is to be expected. A couple of them pushed my limits on rules, but quickly stepped back in line. Several cried, all smiled, all giggled, and all looked at me wide-eyed as I told them that we'd have grass skirt Friday almost every single week that we were in school.

We went through the rules, gave examples of each, drew pictures of our families, shared those pictures, recessed, pe'd, music'd, and all in all, just had a great day.

I'm still puzzled as to why I was so nervous. Could it be because I wasn't as well planned as I'd liked....yes. Could it be because I didn't have some great parent/teacher relationships last year....yes. Could it be that I'm finally getting those teacher jitters that a lot of people talk about...yes. Whatever the reason, I'm not sure how I feel about that nervous feeling. It was a feeling that overwhelmed me, made my tummy ache last night, and made me dread this morning.

But it all turned out all right. Maybe it was the pressure to be perfect, to have the kids like me right off the bat, and to feel like I belong teaching little kids rather than big ones. Almost like a feeling that THIS is the year to prove myself as a good teacher. I'm not sure that why, after a few years under my belt I feel this way, but I do. I'm guessing it's the people I work with, the kids I work for, and the feeling that soon, my little ones will be in school.

I WANT to be nervous, to be the best that I can be, because that's what I want the girls' teachers to be. I want them to look into Makenna and Mavvie's eyes and look for them to light up at the mere mention of math, reading, science, and all of the other subjects. I want the girls to enjoy school, their teachers, and learning.

And so now, it hits me. I want to show my students and their parents that I am the teacher that I want my girls to have. So on this first day of school evening, I can lay down knowing that I did my best today, I was the teacher that I want the girls to have, that I am proud to be.

I look forward to this school year now, knowing that I will often have stories to share with you about my class, and all that comes with the life of teaching first graders.

Why Are Children Obsessed With Poop?

2009-08-05T21:56:00.000-05:00

Tonight, my four-year-old, Big Mak, said the word poop like 5000 times. "I haven't pooped today, Mommy." "I think the baby has pooped her pants, Mama." "Who smells like poop?" I could go on and on and on with her poopy statements. So I wondered out loud, "Why are children obsessed with poop?"

I had to come up with some answers, of course.

Theory One:Kids like smelly things. Poop is smelly. Enough said.

Theory Two:Kids like to talk about gross things. Poop, while it helps our bodies to get rid of it, is gross. Again, enough said.

Theory Three:Sometimes, adults talk about poop. Hubby and I often have conversations regarding the status of Lil' M and her diaper filling. Often, these get in depth with talk of texture, consistency, and smell. Then we get into how it might be different when she gets on baby food, not just formula, cereal, and juice. And sometimes, we even get to talking about how it's different than ours. Yuck, I know.

And finally, Theory Four:Kids become obsessed with a lot of things, poop is just a phase that they will soon tire of talking about. Granted, this might be when they are 15 and boys are around, in our case. Or, it might be sooner. Either way, it's just a phase, as with most things are when we are growing up.

What is your theory? Why ARE Children Obsessed With Poop? Share your thoughts, and maybe what you or your kids are obsessed with at the moment!

Friday Night and Being Thirty-Something

2009-07-31T23:55:00.000-05:00

It's Friday at 11:35 pm and I am at home, watching "The Soup," listening to the gentle snores of my oldest, Mak. I am also listening to the slamming of apartment doors, slightly intoxicated neighbors leaving the parking lot for an evening on the town. Now, our town isn't very big, but it's big enough to have places to go out on a Friday night.

Yet, I am here, in the comfort of my air conditioned, too crowded, two-bedroom apartment hanging out. A thought just creeps through my head and the music shakes the glass doors...."Man, I must be old."

So I'd like to know...when did this happen? When did I become too old to have my r&b or even rap, or sometimes even country blaring from my stereo as I headed out to dance and drink the night away? Did it happen in April of 2005, when I gave birth to Mak? Did it happen when I graduated from college a mere year before her birth? Did it happen in April of 2008, when I said, "I Do," to my love, D? Or finally, did it happen when I gave birth to our youngest, Mav in March of this year?

I think the answer lies in a combination of all of those questions. I still went out and partied after I graduated from college. But then I moved to a bigger town, where I knew one person, and the people I worked with were all married. And then, I got pregnant with Mak, and decided to move home again as a single mama. After that, I met my hub, at a new found church, and didn't realize that he'd end up being my hub. When we dated, we didn't go to the bar. We went to the movies, to dinner, to meet his family, to meet my family. For my fling before the ring, I got totally out of commission intoxicated, and he was shocked when I got back to my apartment. He'd never seen me take more than a sip, and was afraid I'd wake up Mak with my loud giggles, and attempts to smooch it up with him. Since then, he's never seen me like that, or really, take more than a sip or two. And with Mav, I wanted, oh how I wanted a margarita when I was pregnant. But I didn't, and still haven't.

I often miss those days of dancing til I sweated the greatness out of my curly locks, of having one too many drinks and giggling while I danced. I miss the freedom that is represented in that loud music, the shrieks of laughter in parking lots, and the martini's that I'd often try, thinking I was soooo grown up while I drank them.While I do miss that time in my life, it has been replaced.

Replaced with dancing to Ralph's World til I sweat, drinking sugar free Kool-Aid by the gallon, listening to country or previous years of vacation bible songs at top volume in the car. Replaced with holding little hands, diaper bags, car seats, half-eaten suckers, and bottles. Replaced with the security that came with our pledge to be there for each other in times of stress and drama, and times of laughter and utter joy. Replaced with a love that I am unable to put into words, other than love that is like sunshine bursting out of me when I see my two beautiful girls together.

So it's Friday, nearly midnight, and I'm thirty-something. I'm far from the girl I was four years ago, and yet so much better than I was then. Yes, I miss that life of a twenty-something, but goodness, I'm more than blessed to have such a fulfilled life that I live. Someday, I'll let it all down and go have some drinks, dance my booty off, but be lucky enough to come home to three people that love me, all of me, both sides of me. For that, I am truly humbled.

The I's of My Life

2009-07-29T05:24:00.000-05:00

I follow a lovely flower named Lilu at http://www.livitluvit.com/ on a daily basis. She's not for the faint of heart, but seriously makes me laugh nearly every time I read her blog. In Lilu style, I give to you The I's of My Life.

I can't.....

watch a movie in a theatre without popcorn and that fake butter stuff, no matter how gross I really know it is.

deny my love for the hymn, "Lord Of The Dance, " at church, even though most people hate it.

explain how lovely a box of never used Crayola crayons really smells.

go a few days without eating something that needs to be dipped in something else.

believe how loud my laugh can really be. Seriously, it's startling sometimes.

explain how important the love chickens that are part of my life really are. I know I should, I just get all teary at telling you how much I heart you.

*****************************

I can.......

sing nearly any Christmas carol at the drop of a hat....same goes for certain show tunes as well.

give a good hug.

drink a lot more than one person should be able to, with no hangover in the morning.

fake being alright, when I'm really not.

tell my sister anything, and know that she won't judge me and will still love me.

admit that I'm a ditzy girl. Seriously, it's amazing that I have brown hair. I'm the stuff that blond jokes can be about.

********************************

I won't....

admit when I'm hitting a rough spot in life, until it comes out in a hot mess of tears.

give in to the people that are big honkin' meanies in my life. You know who you are, you just don't acknowledge that you are a big honkin' meany.

apologize for saying things like 'big honkin' meany," s this is vocabulary that I must use to communicate with my children and students.

act like you aren't a moron for much longer. Seriously, you're grown.

stop giggling when it's inappropriate, no matter what situation. I'll try, but we all know that I won't.

*******************************

I will.....

laugh til I wheeze.

keep trying to stop judging, but it's hard, especially when people can be dumb.

admit that I'm not perfect.

have a Stuart Smalley moment once per day, no matter how silly I feel. "I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and gosh darnit, people like me."

keep on Wendy time. Sorry John, it's true, although I wish I could live on Kenyan time one day per year.

check my facebook too much because I'm nosy. I mean, I'm interested in what you all are doing.

still get grossed out with the words moist and mucous, and most things associated with those words.

grunt a little when I eat my dad's BBQ.....sorry, but that is some good shiz. :)

*****************************

I shouldn't....

worry so much, and then worry that I'm worrying too much.

keep my feelings to myself.

apologize for being me.

deny my right to a good drink now and then.

be envious of what others have.

have to walk away when people fall because I'm laughing until I wheeze. It's not funny, right? And yet, I'm starting to giggle at the mere thought of someone taking a tumble.

be so hard on myself. After all, I'm just human.

promise to get together and then have a million excuses why that isn't going to happen.

take the lovely flowers in my life for granted. You all....gosh, I just heart you.

curse in the car, and then giggle when my oldest says things like, "DAMMIT," when her princess camera isn't working.

********************************

I should....

enjoy life to the fullest.

laugh more, if that is possible.

follow my dreams, and help others follow theirs.

listen more intently.

not toot on the husband in bed. We were snuggling, I was asleep, it woke me up. Gross, but funny...admit it.

give more hugs, and mean them.

say my opinion out loud in meetings, rather than to just the loves at my table.

remind my husband that he's amazing, especially if he can deal with me and my drama.

cut down on the melodramatics.

remember that everyday can be a good day, I just have to make it so.

share my love of musicals with my girls, no matter how dorky it makes me feel.

keep singing in the car as if I am Carrie Underwood, Reba, Beyonce', cuz really, I got some pipes on me. I mean, I think I do. ;)

embrace my ghetto-ness, not deny it.

dance like I love to, no matter how silly I feel.

encourage my girls to live, laugh, and love.

thank God for my life, my experience, my gifts, my struggles, and for helping me get through all times good and bad, more regularly.

Where Did Your Rock(s) Come From?

2009-07-27T22:00:00.000-05:00

Hello Friends,

I come to you needing to write about many things, but will have to stick to one short topic....Michael Jackson. I promise to write soon about the mission trip to Greensburg, KS, the girls, school starting, etc. But tonight lovelies, is designed for the one and only MJ.

Let me begin by saying I liked MJ. Yes, he was odd, but he had to live in a bubble. My guess is that we'd all be odd if we lived like him. He couldn't go out, etc, etc, etc. I loved his music, especially the old school stuff....ie Jackson 5. But, I'm a fan of Motown! Seriously, all his tunes were pretty good, and I still sing along with them when I hear them.

So, yes, I was a fan. Not crazy, not go see him in concert and cry, but a fan. I got teary while watching his memorial service, but I always do at services. I'm sentimental, what can I say?

However, a line was crossed tonight when I was checking my twitter page. Anderson Cooper, who I love as well, is one tweeter that I follow. He always has some interesting stuff on, but tonight takes the cake. He tweeted that a company wants to take the burnt hair from MJ's Pepsi commercial and turn it into diamonds for fans to buy. Re-read if you need to....I had to. Really? Seriously? No way, were all thoughts that came to my mind. Who would buy a Michael Jackson hair diamond? And what does one do with said diamond? Propose with it? Make a pendant? A pair of earrings? A nose ring?

So, in my disgust of the whole thing, I post it on my facebook page. And come to find out, you can google search this kind of thing and a bunch of information comes up. (Thanks to my friend Valena for this tidbit.) One can take cremains and turn them into diamonds. Another friend, Monica, said she has a friend that wants to have her husband do that to her cremains after she's gone. Monica suggested that perhaps he'd give them to his next wife as her engagement ring.

This prompted a whole new line of questioning to me. Would she have to put it in her will that she wanted to be made into diamonds? Would there be a clause that he'd have to give the new wifey one of old wifey's remained diamond? Could he tell the newbie? OMG...what if my little engagement ring is made of dead people? UGH, disgusting.

So friends, I pose this question to you. When you die, would you like to be made into diamonds? And if so, what would you want to be made into? How much bling would you want to be made into? And my final question...would you really buy a rock if you knew it was made of someone?

I look forward to your comments and thoughts!!

Blessings, Wendy :)

Makennaisms....Part Three

2009-07-22T09:25:00.000-05:00

Once again, I have a collection of fun things Makenna has said recently. Enjoy!

Mak, "Mama, my hair is crazy!" Me, "Why yes, love, it is." Mak, "I like it this way. It looks like snakes."

Mak, "I wanna type." Me, "Not right now." Mak, "Don't touch me if I'm touching the computer. I have important work to do here."

After hearing Mavvie scream loudly, "Sorry Mavvie."

"I think Mavvie pooped. Let's see if it's green!" she said with much delight.

"Mama, I wish you could be a good singer like me."

"Shake your booty, Mama." This is said all over Topeka, from the grocery store, to Target, and even while in the car.

"I'm hungry. I'm going to eat your nose."

"Stop laughing at me. I'm NOT funny. REALLY, I'M NOT!!!"

And finally, my favorite Makennaism that she's said lately. A little background first. We were in Ohio at my Grandma's house for a family reunion. It was the first time my husband had been there to visit. The following was said in a deep sleep....in the living room while everyone else was awake and walking around.

"DADDY, YOU DO NOT HAVE A SHIRT ON." And we all giggled. "OH, AND YOU CAN'T WEAR MOMMY'S BRA'S." I thought I was going to have a seizure from laughing so hard. David replied, "WHAT?" Now, if you know David, you know that my bras wouldn't fit him, nor would he try. And yes, I did ask this.

Have a lovely day!

My Mom

2009-07-20T17:13:00.000-05:00

Today would have been my Mom's 58th birthday, so it seems fitting that I write a post about her. For those of you that don't know, she passed away in February of 2001. So as I write, tears will flow, as they always seem to when I sit down and really think about how long she has been gone.

My Mom was amazing, and I have no doubt that she still is in Heaven. She was an elementary school librarian, and a professional storyteller. She loved kids, loved books, and loved to share her knowledge of both topics. She loved the first day of school, and usually cried on the last. She loved to share inventive names of her students, and the stories that we sometimes behind these names.

She loved history, learning, and driving to all of the little historical landmarks in the country that we could. As a kid, this wasn't so exciting, but now that I'm a parent, I get it. I get a lot now of what she used to do, that I didn't then. It's funny how life comes around like that.

She was passionate, loving, and gave of herself constantly. She cried at movies, good-byes, and sometimes because she was laughing too hard. She wheezed when she laughed, her face turning red, with no sound coming out sometimes. A sound that Makenna and I have luckily inherited. She had a temper that was quick, but over quickly as well. Something else that Makenna and I have inherited.

She loved to laugh, goodness she loved to laugh. Practically anything could make her laugh, and it's a laugh that was contagious. It was loud, and fun, and joyful. It is one of the things I miss the most about her.

It's hard to lose a parent at any age. But I can say that I was totally unprepared for this. My mom was 49 when she died of a massive stroke. The pain was nearly overwhelming, and still can be sometimes, as my sister and I have grown up. I miss a lot of things about her, and those things are usually because we are missing out on her experiencing things.

My girls will never know her. Yes, they will know OF her, but those are two totally different things. They will never know her tight hugs, kisses, stories, and kind eyes that I got to have for over 20 years. They will not hear her stories in person, only by audio tape, which are great, but will miss her excited expressions as she gets into the characters.

It's hard to be a Mom without your Mom there to see what you have brought into the world. And yet, even as a single mom, I knew she was there. I knew that it would be okay. Overall, my Mom was a fighter. She fought for the right things, for our happiness, well-being, and to make sure we always felt love. She taught me how to be a Mom.

For that gift, I can only take my girls outside, look up at the stars in the sky and say, "Grandma Coleen is up there. And she taught me everything about being your Mommy. She's watching over us, and loves you even though she isn't here to say it." And yes, I've done that many times.

Happy Birthday, Mom! I love you and miss you!

So...It's Been A While

2009-07-09T20:19:00.000-05:00

Hello All,

Feels like I haven't visited with you in forever. Life gets busy, and all of my good intentions seem to just go away by the end of the day. I've missed you, friends.

We took our family trip to Ohio and made it back, all in one piece. The girls and I flew early, and let's just say there was a lot of bumps flying into Indy. The flight ended with me singing, "Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes" to Mak, and really to all those around me after we dropped in the air. It was scary, and I didn't want to vomit. Had a lovely time at the reunion, and guess what? The bambina didn't cry for the seven days we were there. Sorry all, you missed her Popeye face.

Also made it through the fireworks tent for our church. WOW! A long week, but so rewarding. The money went to youth mission trips. We are going to Greensburg, KS this year. If you don't know, Greensburg was hit with an F4 or F5 tornado a couple of years ago. They have decided to rebuild the town "green." It will be a great experience in helping others, but also in learning about the building ways of the future. Our theme..."God Goes Green." Cute, huh? We will also be sending money to Susanna Wesley School in Anapra, Mexico. We go there every other year to work with the teachers and kids. Last year was my first year going, and it was amazing. I even cried a little when we left and in trying to talk about Antonio and his family when we got back.

That trip to Mexico will always be special because it was my first, and because it served as our honeymoon. While not the normal honeymoon, I can't imagine a better place to go. It was a vacation for us, but we also got to help others.

That was really the last time that David and I have had much time to ourselves. We got married in April of 2008, found out we were pregnant in July 2008, had Mavvie in March 2009, and have just been hanging on ever since. We have a lovely life, except that we don't get enough time with the girls together, or with each other for that matter.

It is my hope that soon, very soon, we can have some time away. I love our girls, but it's so important for our marriage and for our family to have some QT with each other, without speaking of the joys and hardships that come along with having two little girls. So in a sense, it's been a while for a lot of things in my life. And yet, I'm strangely okay for now. I just keep thinking how lucky we are. We are healthy, loved, working, and most of all blessed.

I'm sorry if this is a random hodge-podge of thoughts! My brain is on overload right now.

Love and Blessings to All!!

Friday Night With My Dad

2009-06-13T17:13:00.000-05:00

I had a great childhood, full of fun road trips to visit different family members, historical landmarks, and just interesting places around Kansas. I was also lucky enough to be able to go to several ball games: basketball, baseball, football, and softball.

Last night, it was like my childhood all over again! My dad got two tickets to go to the KC Royals game. They were playing the Reds, our family favorite team. I quickly found a sitter and told my dad that I could go! A night of freedom for most Moms isn't going to a baseball game, but I was super excited!

We left on time, which for me is a miracle, and got to the ballpark with plenty of time to spare. Kauffman Stadium has been re-done, so we spent a good 25 minutes walking around to see all of the work that had been done. WOW..it actually looks like a stadium, instead of a glorified softball field. There's a lot of things to see, including new seats, two sports bars, and an entire area for kids, which includes a miniature golf course. We were like tourists as we looked at the field from all different angles, pointing to all of the new things that we were seeing.

The game wasn't so great as the Reds lost 4-1. If you'd like the game changing play, talk to my Dad...he'll give it to you in his best radio voice. Let's just say it involved a stolen base and an awful girl-like throw by the first baseman. There were lots of Reds fans there, and we even got to sit by some of them. Of course, we were outnumbered by 1000s including one fan that booed every time the Reds did something good. She was right behind us, and kind of annoying. :)

I felt like a kid again sitting in the seat. Dad taught me how to keep the scorecard, and he laughed at me as I would point to each player as I was trying to figure out what number went into the little diamond. It took about 8 innings for me to get it. Sad, I know! But more than that, it was just nice to spend time with him, talking about where we sat when I was little. We laughed about some of the games, talked about our favorite Reds and Royals teams, and just had a great time.

All in all, a great Friday night! Thanks, Dad!!

Love & Logic

2009-06-09T16:20:00.000-05:00

Makenna and I have been butting heads a lot lately, and I've been the one more frustrated in the end. I hate raising my voice to her, and she has started doing it back, which means it's happening too often. This past weekend, I went to a wedding in Emporia with two of my dearest teacher friends. Both of them Mommy's, but one with twins that are soon to be 19. I was discussing life with her and how frustrated I'm getting being at home. She began explaining Love and Logic to me. So, I decided to try it.

Love and Logic is discipline with choices for the child. We give the two choices, and she makes her own mind up for which she would like. Either choice has to be something we can live with, which is a key.

As I got home from that wedding, and had a few minutes at home before another wedding, Makenna started in. "I don't wanna wear that dress....I wanna wear my princess shirt." My mind instantly went to Love and Logic. So I said, "Okay, you have a choice. You can wear the dress I'm holding and come to the wedding. OR, you can leave on your princess shirt and stay home." After thinking for a moment, she began to get undressed. HOLY COW....THIS WORKS.

Since then, I have worked hard at giving her choices. She's made on less that desirable choice, which she wasn't happy about, but dealt with it with minimal tears. She even LOVES the idea that SHE gets to choose rather than having me choose for her.

I'm going to read the Love and Logic books to get a more firm foundation in it. But I must admit, what we're doing is working, and it's great. I still struggle being at home, but it's not frustrating anymore!

By the way, the weddings were beautiful! Congrats to LaKeitha and Erica!!

Sisters

2009-05-08T11:59:00.000-05:00

As you know, my sister and I are extremely close. I love her for many reasons, but mostly because she is an amazing sister. She deals with my drama, my fits, my tears. She is my biggest cheerleader when I need one, my protector when I need one, and the person I turn to when I'm having some issue that nobody else will understand. Emmie is amazing. She listens at midnight when I need to complain, at 7:30 on a Saturday morning when she planned on sleeping in, and during the day, when I'm texting or emailing her with some drama from school. She is the one I can trust to understand when I'm having a sad day missing our Mom, the one that makes me laugh at some story related to the same topic.

Emmie "gets" me. She knows when I'm not okay, but I say I am. She knows when I have a funny story it will take twice as long because I'm laughing through it. She knows that at some point during the week, I will say something that is so ditzy, she threatens to blog about it, but never does. She knows I love her, although I don't say it enough.

Now that Mavvie is here, she will get to experience what it's like to have a big sister. I can only hope that my girls become as close as Emmie and I are. If the picture is any indication of the future, my M's will be as close as Emmie and I are.

Mother's Day....Early

2009-05-08T08:38:00.000-05:00

Susan, Mavvie and Makenna May 6, 2009

Dad and Susan are going to Iowa to celebrate Mother's Day with Christie, Ron and Ethan. So we decided to have our Mother's Day on Wednesday. It was fun, with Susan getting what she needed....new jammies. I love new jammies, and just couldn't resist getting her two new pairs. One from the M's and one from Emmie and me. Let's just say the girls picked out more young and hip ones! We had a simple dinner of picnic-type food, and just had a great time.

Susan is a great Grandma to the girls and a great friend to Emmie and me. We are thankful that she is in our family! While it hasn't always been an easy transition, we are at a good place now. She is truly a blessing to our family!

Mavvie

2009-04-30T19:54:00.000-05:00

Tonight, John came over to show me the pictures he took of Mavvie at two days old. She seems so little in these, compared to now. It's amazing how quickly she has grown in seven weeks. She is so content in these pictures, much like she is still today. She's content and happiest when snuggled to her Daddy's chest, where she feels safe and loved. She loves her Mama and her big sister, but Mav is definitely her Daddy's girl!

Who Knew?

2009-04-21T11:03:00.000-05:00

Last night, after a long Monday at work, a quick exchange of cars with David, and a visit to the doctor, I had to make a choice. Did we eat out again, or could I manage two little girls in the grocery store by myself? This is a feat that I had yet to attempt. As a new mom of two, I couldn't imagine taking them to the grocery by myself. The grocery is my quiet place, where I go by myself with Emmie. We talk, laugh, and she gets annoyed that I go up and down every aisle. So to attempt on my own with the girls was brave..or so I thought.

It turns out that it's not so bad. They were fairly good, with not too many tears from any of us. Yes, a few whines from Big Sister, but nothing that I couldn't either handle or ignore. We made it through the store, with not too many unplanned items.

However, as we were getting ready to get into the long check-out lines, I got a craving for some chocolate. And what would appear? A display of Chocolate Rice Cakes....for some reason, they looked amazing.

As I got home and started making dinner, reading a book, changing a diaper and making a bottle, the thought of the bag of treats called rice cakes crept into my mind. I asked Makenna to get the bag for me...a small treat for doing the above mentioned things without yelling or crying. HOLY COW...they are amazing.

So I ask, my friends, WHO KNEW of the deliciousness of the chocolate rice cake and held out on me?

Happy Birthday!

2009-04-20T08:28:00.001-05:00

Sunday, April 19th was Makenna's fourth birthday. I can't believe that she is four! Part of me is super excited that she's growing into a lovely little person. And yet there is part of me that doesn't want her to grow up. I miss the snuggly little baby she once was, with her joyful grins and giggles. Those grins have been replaced with another type of grin. A grin that is still joyful, but more grown-up. The giggles were really more of a gurgle, and have been replaced with a contagious laugh that can fill-up a room in an instant, begging for others to join in the laugh party!

Mak had a great day! Actually, she had a great birthday weekend. Our Aunt Janeil from Sacramento came for a visit. We spent Friday night at my school's carnival. She bounced around from here to there, while eating cotton candy and having a great time. Saturday, we went to Emmie's dress rehearsal for her community choir. Makenna LOVED the music, especially, "It Don't Mean A Thing If You Ain't Got That Swing." She shook her whole body to the beat! We then went to Wamego, to The Wizard of Oz Museum and the Tulip Festival. Finally, on Sunday, we went to church and had her party.

Along with family, her friend Elizabeth came to the party, with her Mom, Kelly. Brian, Emmie's boyfriend also joined us, along with our friend John. Unfortunately, Grandma Susan couldn't come as she is still recovering from her car accident. But, Grandpa Jan took video so she could see the fun and excitement on tape.

Aunt Janeil, Makenna and Mavvie

Makenna and Me, with her loads and loads of presents!

She wanted a jungle themed birthday. We were planning on a trip to the zoo, but, weather and Grandma issues made that not possible. So, she wanted a monkey cake. Homemade by Emmie, which is the best kind of cake! Aunt Janeil found a Barrel Of Monkeys game to decorate the cake with, which made it cute. There's nothing better than chocolate cake, purple icing and green monkeys!

Elizabeth and Makenna, being little princesses. I can't believe how long this entertained them! With three of her gifts being dress-up princess gowns, jewels, shoes, purses, and tiaras, hours of fun was had changing clothes, and waving wands.

Aunt Janeil called me a few weeks ago, asking what I thought about Makenna getting a scooter for her birthday. I was apprehensive, but then assured that it wasn't a fast one, but one good for a four-year-old. Grandpa Jan and Grandma Susan put it together, Emmie's present was the helmet and knee pads, and Janeil got the scooter. Mak did an awesome job riding, as you can see. She even adopted a "scooter-riding face!"

This is one of my favorite pictures from the party! She looks so grown-up, in a little girl way! Love the gloves!! She felt like such a lady!

We are so lucky to have such a great family and such awesome friends! Thanks to all who celebrated with us in person and in spirit!

Lucky Mommy!

2009-04-14T11:00:00.000-05:00

Hello, All! I'm super glad to report that we are all doing well, and yes, I am even back at work! Mavvie is now a month old, and spending her second day at her babysitter. She did a great job yesterday....pottying, eating, and sleeping. What a life!

Overall, being a Mommy of two is great! Tiring, but great. It's amazing to think that I am actually a mother of two little girls. Both healthy, beautiful, and great in their own ways. I love, and envy, Makenna's energy and caring looks that she gives her "Sissy." And Mavvie is laid back and just enjoys taking everything in. She loves to have her ears rubbed, but can't stand to be tickled on her back. She's a good eater, and isn't fond of sleeping in her bed.

There are times when I feel overwhelmed, but overall, I just feel lucky and blessed. Things were a little rocky with Mavvie in the beginning, but tests have all come back fine, and her nerve damage seems to be working itself out. I just think of it as something we had to go through to realize how lucky we are to have two little girls. Hopefully, those scary medical scares are over and all will continue to stay healthy!

David has been great. He's so cute to watch with Mavvie, and I wonder if I oogled so much over Makenna. It's cute to see him baby talk to her, to snuggle with her, and to talk with her and Makenna. He's getting better at changing diapers, at feeding her, at dressing her, but not at letting her sleep in her bed. I think she believes that Daddy is a pillow!

My favorite moment since being home from the hospital was on a Saturday morning. David and I were awakened by Mavvie's hungry cries. So, we laid in bed and she chowed down. Soon, she was asleep...on Daddy, of course. Then, Makenna woke up. She crawled into our bed with the three of us, and we all just laid there and talked. It was great...and I just thought, "Wow...can life get much better than this?"

How lucky I am to be the Mommy of two amazing little girls!

Finally...

2009-03-12T20:12:00.000-05:00

After a week of bedrest, it's time. Mavvie is scheduled to be born tomorrow at around noon. We will get to the hospital at 10:00, and are scheduled to start the c-section at noon. I'm guessing she'll be here around 12:15-12:30.

Since I will be unable to post pictures, my sister will do it on her blog. SO...tomorrow evening, late, you might check out this blog:

http://goddessmobile.blogspot.com

Happy Days to you until I type again!

Wendy

Update...

2009-03-05T10:19:00.000-06:00

Yes, I'm still pregnant...so don't be too excited! :)

After spending a few hours in the hospital on Tuesday evening with high blood pressure issues, it was 158/100 at school on Tuesday afternoon, I was put on bed rest by the nurse. The nurse, by the way, was super nice, not like Stupid Nurse Nancy. Instead, this was Really Nice Patricia. She's lovely, and was very kind and supportive.

I went to see Dr. Saylor yesterday morning to find out that once again, my bp was up to 148/92. He had me lay on my left side, yes the table was small, and almost immediately it went down to 120/80. I was relieved, but assumed that more bed rest orders were to follow. Instead, he said that I look fine, the baby sounds fine, and that he's still sorry. He did ask if I feel like working, and I said, "Well, we can't afford for me not to work for six weeks, so that's not a choice, unless you make it for me." Today, I am at work...if that tells you anything.

I did beg and plead and even got a little teary when I asked if I was really going to have to do 2 more weeks of this. He smiled and said, "Well, that's what the big book says." Really, I wanted to hit him. Instead, I rolled my eyes and said that books are meant to be disobeyed sometimes. His response was that if I wanted to call the surgeon and deal with him, he's more than happy to let me, but that I could whine for myself much better than he can whine for me. Again, I rolled my eyes. He also said that I'd have to have an amnio to see if her lungs are ready for delivery. This kind of scared me. So I didn't say anything else.

I went home and rested. Not comfortably, but I rested. And you know what? It felt good! No, it felt GREAT!!! But, I had to be back at work this morning.

I'm not feeling great, and tend to be contracting more than I'd like, and I'm much more emotional than I'd like. So at the urging of my friend V, I called the OB. I left an exhausted message, "This is Wendy. I'm having a c-section on the 20th. I've been to the hospital 3 times since the 21st of February. I'm tired. My blood pressure has been high. I'm tired. I am measuring 40 weeks, and this is the second day of my 36th week. I am not sure how much longer I can do this...can we move up my appointment and talk about delivering a week early? Thanks." They've called back, and I go in tomorrow at 10:35. So, say a prayer that he will listen, and she is healthy, and we can go a week earlier.

She'll be great, I know. And I get the whole wait for everything to be okay with her. But, I just can't help but think how safe can it be for her in there with my blood pressure going up and down, contractions coming and going, and just me being stressed out about all of this.

Have a happy Thursday..and get out and enjoy the weather! I think we are going to take an extended recess this afternoon!

To Answer Your Questions

2009-03-02T10:17:00.000-06:00

No, she hasn't arrived yet. I'm still waddling, and I had to buy new shoes so that I don't have to wear flip flops in the snow. Yes, I had to ask David to put on my socks and shoes this weekend, only to realize that I couldn't walk more than a few steps comfortably, hence the flip flops in the snow.

Yes, I rested this weekend with only a couple of trips out and many more hours on the couch with my feet up than I believe should be humanly allowed or possible for that matter.

I'm still starving, craving too many things, and nauseated after eating too much of what I'm craving. I'm attempting to eat salad, veggies, and fruit, although pan fried tacos are all that make me feel satisfied after eating. Oh, and maybe a vat of Carlos O'Kelly's queso dip as well.

Yes, she's lower than she was on Friday. Yes, I'm using the bathroom every hour or so. Yes, I'm attempting to drink plenty of water. Yes, I had a large mocha hot latte this morning as I needed some jolt.

Yes, I'm cranky, tired of being pregnant, and ready to drop this bowling ball of a child. Yes, I know that she needs to be in a few days longer, but I'm being selfish and tired, and pregnant. Yes, I'm nesting. No, we haven't moved rooms yet, done her laundry in special soap, or had time to look for more monkey stuff at Target.

Yes, I'm getting excited, nervous, anxious and any other emotion you could possibly think of.

And finally, yes I am laughing while typing this. Have a happy Monday!

Thought for the day...

2009-02-26T14:21:00.001-06:00

I just want my stupid water to break.

If you have suggestions on how this could possibly be done, please comment. I'm thinking of investing in knitting needles.....

Exhaustion and The Belly Rub

2009-02-26T10:34:00.000-06:00

Just into my 35th week of pregnancy, I am experiencing exhaustion like I've never felt. My knuckles are tired, if that tells you anything.

The last week has been tough, with two trips to the hospital, one ending with a shot and one ending with two bags of fluids and a mean nurse. But, both ending with me still being pregnant and contractions that were stopped. I can't begin to share my disappointment that we did have Mavvie on Monday. I thought we'd be good to go...after all, contractions since Saturday, feeling like she was pushing her way out....what else could there be? Alas, it was not meant to be.

And so, I have been in a grouchy mood, teary, and just overall uncomfortable for what feels like days. Really, it's been 2 weeks, but it feels like a sea of eternal discomfort is all that is in my future.

I know I'm complaining, and I'm okay with that. The final straw came last night. I was driving Makenna to my dad's house for their weekly Wednesday date. A sad thought came to my mind....the baby is SO LOW that my belly is rubbing on my thighs and is close to the seat. Depressing doesn't even begin to tell of the feeling that gave me. I know I'm big...I should be...but, a belly rub? OMG...

I'm feeling still teary and ready for this kid to pop out at any given moment. My luck, during an exciting Math lesson, or perhaps when I'm chewing a kid for not listening, not cooperating, or for lying, or hitting. All of the listed reasons happen on a daily basis in my first grade classroom.

So please, say a prayer that she comes soon, is healthy, and that my belly rubbing days will be over sooner, rather than later.

My Sneaky Girl

2009-02-19T13:55:00.000-06:00

For the past couple of weeks, Makenna has said that her "froat" has been hurting. She has had a bit of a runny nose, and a cough, but no fever. Tuesday evening, she was a HOT MESS in the grocery store. A lot of crying, screaming, and just behavior that signaled something was wrong with her. She was fine one minute, and then screaming the next. Very bizarre, even for a three-year-old.

I told David when he got home Tuesday night, be prepared to stay home tomorrow, she's a mess. He decided to go to work, and wait for my phone call that we needed him to come home. Well, true to my prediction, the call had to be made because little Miss was "not feeling good." She laid in her bed, half crying, half not while I got ready for school. Then, she was up. No fever, but still not quite herself.

And then, it happened. David's key hit the lock of the apartment, and my "sick" little girl went SPRINTING to the door screaming, "DADDY!!!!!!" I just looked at her with an open mouth and he said, "I thought you were sick?" She instantly started rubbing her tummy. So, in a matter of a few minutes, she went from a sore throat to a sore tummy.

Immediately, he gives me the "eye," and I just shrug and pull her close to me for a chat. Turns out, she wasn't sick. She missed her Daddy. He's working two jobs, the full time one starts well before she is awake, the part time one ends well after her bedtime. So, she doesn't get much quality time with Daddy like she did when I was working at Sylvan. She cries out for him, and really does love the time she gets to spend with him on Saturdays and Sundays.

Now, I'm sure that most of us are saying, "Oh, how cute...she just wanted Daddy time." David, on the outside, was not so happy. He didn't think it was cute, as he had to take sick time at work to come home. So, she ended up at school so he could rest his cranky away, and they would have time together in the afternoon.

I still think it's sweet, although I was horrified to think that my sweet little love chicken had turned into a manipulative little sneak. But, in retrospect, she loves her Daddy. And eventually, she won't care about spending so much time with us, as we won't be "cool," anymore. So instead of being annoyed, I will choose to cherish this story as the first time she was super sneaky, just for more time with her parents!

Blessings....

2009-02-09T12:06:00.001-06:00

This weekend was our first baby shower. It was a great time, filled with laughter, stories, games, and treats. There were a lot of people there, and David's sister, niece, and his parents all made the trip to Topeka, which was great! David even stayed and enjoyed things...especially the treats.

As we discussed the shower and all that came along with it, I just can't help but think of how blessed we truly are. We appreciate all that was done for us, and given to our family. It was great to see so many friends there, ones that I've known since middle school and newer ones that I have made in the last few years.

In thinking of all this, I must think back to Makenna's birth, and how different our life is now. I feel like I appreciate everything more now, because our situation is different. Being a single parent is by far the hardest job in the world! It's not only a huge financial struggle, but, it's emotionally draining. I wouldn't change anything about the first three years of her life, because I feel like she's a great kid and even though I made mistakes, I feel like I did an okay job with her. :)

But, bringing Mavvie into the world is different. I'm way different, and Makenna is different too. We are blessed in ways that I never, ever saw coming. I never thought I'd get married, and really never thought I'd have another little one. So even though I complain about being pregnant, and other things, in my heart, I know...I'm blessed.

David has brought about a stability and steadiness that I never knew Makenna and I needed. He's there for us, and while he doesn't always get it, he will eventually. He tries to get it, which is more important to me than anything. He works hard for us, and will do anything we need him to do to make our family stronger.

Thank you for all of the wonderful items that you all gave to us for the baby and for Makenna. But more importantly, thank you for being a blessing in our lives each and every day!

You're Going To Swab Where? A TMI Post!

2009-02-03T10:16:00.000-06:00

For the last month, I have avoided the Strep B culture at the doctor's office. In my thinking...why would it need to be done, when I know that I am delivering via c-section? BUT, at the insistence of my doctor, I prepared myself for it yesterday. If you're thinking that's just a throat test...I am here to tell you no, it's not.

If a mother has Strep B, she is given two dosages of antibiotic prior to baby being delivered...at least this is what I saw on tv on one of those baby shows. It isn't a factor in c-section deliveries, but in natural births only. The test was done on me just in case my water would break and she would somehow be delivered naturally.

So, here I am, in the most awkward position...girls, you know what I mean, just chatting away about my day at school. Suddenly, he stops me and says, "Um, just so you know, I'm going to have to swab here as well." Okay, I was mentally prepared for the first swabbing...I'm pregnant, so I know what that's about. But the second....HOLY COW, not even thinking that was happening. Now, I calmly ask, "Um, not to be dumb, and no I haven't seen the videos, but babies usually don't come out of there, do they?" With a chuckle, he explained some "medically rational" mumbo-jumbo, that I honestly didn't listen to. I was just thankful that he had given me warning!

I survived, and will have the results soon, according to the doctor. The rest of the appointment went alright, with my blood pressure still being a bit high and some protein in my urine. He doesn't seemed concerned, so I will try not to be as well. I again measured 3 weeks ahead of where I actually am...which means one thing...she's most likely a big girl. The scary part of that is that I didn't measure big until the last appointment before I had Makenna, so, I'm hoping that Mavvie won't be a 10 pounder!!

Also good news...I thought I'd gained 6-7 pounds overall. Um, no. Just two. Two pounds. I am still in shock about this...I feel as if it's 22, but no, just two. I'm not sure how much I'll gain with this one, but it is much less already that I did with Makenna. I'm not complaining, I promise. :) it's just a bit surprising!

Overall, I'm feeling alright...super tired and achy, but nothing that I can't handle. I'm glad she's almost here, as we are all ready to meet her!

Happy Tuesday!

Brought To You By The Letter F

2009-01-30T12:09:00.001-06:00

Happy Friday! In one of her latest blogs, my friend who prefers to be called Miss Scorpio wrote a blog a la Sesame Street. Miss Scorpio brought her readers Tuesday, Brought To You By The Letter C. I giggled as I read some of her favorite things, all starting with the letter C. Not having posted something fun lately, due to my hormonal grouchiness, I decided that this would be fun.

And so, here we go!

Fridays-Need I say more? This is by far my favorite day of the week, because it means I have two days to do whatever I need to do or want to do. I love that feeling of locking my classroom door on Friday afternoons, knowing that I will not be seeing these four walls and two small windows for a couple of days.

Frothy stuff on cocoa-I love cocoa, and this stuff is light as air, but with a chocolate flavor. Plus, I know that when I get past it....cocoa city!!

Family and Friends-What else do I need to say....I love all of you!!

Frosty Mugs-Especially with A&W Root beer. This reminds me of when I was little and we'd have a treat at A&W. While still delicious today, it's not the same in a paper cup with a lid.

Fried Vegetables-Now, I know these have little or no nutritional value, but dipped in ranch...it's like heaven in my mouth. We have a steak place here that has them and the broccoli and cauliflower make me only want to order two baskets of these and nothing else.

Funny tv shows and movies-I love to laugh, so these types of things always make me giggle.

Frosting-I know, I know. I can't help it. I love sugar cookies with a lot of frosting, and cupcakes. And not that whippy whipped cream stuff, the real deal, horrible for you stuff. Oh geez, I feel a craving coming!

Free things-I love the idea of buy one, get one free. Or, try this for free with a coupon.

Freezing Cold Nights-This is probably my favorite "f" phrase. While most people hate winter, I love it. On freezing cold nights, I get to snuggle with Makenna, and then David when he gets home from work. What could be better?

Finalized-I love it when plans are finalized, because then, they hopefully won't change.

Hope you enjoyed my letter F posting..I thought it was fun! Feel free to comment, and I'll send you a letter. :) Perhaps this can be a weekly post.

Oh, and how many of you when you read Sesame Street, thought of the Count...1 ah, ah, ah? :)

Function Machines and Headaches

2009-01-27T14:23:00.000-06:00

Today in math class, I had to teach about function machines. This is a simple thing, if you can add. However, in first grade, we are still working on the adding concept. They can add, using their number grids, number sentences such as 3+4=7. But if you change the vocabulary, such as, "Okay...I have the number seven that goes into the function machine. The number nine come out. How many spaces on the number grid did I count up?" Silence. Silence. Silence. "Seven! No, Nine! No, sixteen!" REALLY? So, I put the problem 7+___= 9 on the board. A chorus serenades me, "2, 2, 2!!!" "YES!" I yell. I then ask them to put it into the function table....and blank stares are the response that I get.

I love our math series, Everyday Math, for those of you that are wondering. BUT, does a first grader really need to know about a function machine? As a 31-year-old woman, I have never used a function machine in real life. I want to tell the children this, but can't, because I know in second grade, they will use these again.

I understand the "newness" of Everyday Math, but some days, I want to just teach math the old school way. In those days, I didn't get a headache helping a kid add, subtract, multiply or divide. But, then I think the new ways really are much easier than how I learned to add, subtract, multiply and divide as a kid.

So now, with less than an hour of our day at school, my students and I aren't fond of function machines and we all have a headache. Let us hope that tomorrow's experience with function machines is much better than today's!

On a happier note, it snowed last night/this morning, and it's super pretty out our classroom windows! I love freshly fallen snow!

Mama....Obama!

2009-01-21T08:24:00.000-06:00

Yesterday, Makenna watched a lot of the Obama coverage on tv at daycare. Below are her thoughts about the day.

"Mama, I watched Obama at Connie's."
"You did? Did you know that he's our new President?"
"I did not know that." (I am not sure how she could watch all day long and not know that he's the President, but, whatever. And, she said this in a southern accent. I am also not sure of where this came from.)

When we finally got home from errands, dinner, and bell choir practice last night, I was flipping channels on tv. Mak emerged from her bedroom in her robe, and yelled, "STOP! LEAVE THAT ON!!!" It was coverage of one of many inaugural balls. Upon seeing President Obama, this is what she said. "That's Obama. HE IS SO CUTE!"

I'm sure she doesn't get the significance of yesterday, but really, for her first crush, he isn't too bad!

Happy Wednesday!

And the date is......

2009-01-20T10:17:00.000-06:00

Happy Inauguration Day! What an exciting day for our country! Of course, I feel the same way every inauguration day, but I am looking forward to sharing this part of history with my class! They still believe his name is The Rock Obama, and look at me like I'm crazy when I correct them. BUT, at least they know that this day, every four years, is important to our country.

On another note, we have a date for Mavvie to arrive. Yes, we knew that my due date is April 1st. Our doctor, who we love, has said from the beginning that we will see April 1st from our home, not the hospital. Makenna was so big that he didn't want me to have to do that all over again.

I met our OB on Friday. He's super nice, and answered all of my questions and even waited for me to think of more. He reminds me of the doctor that delivered Mak, so it was a nice surprise. My blood pressure was super high, but he was calm as we discussed it. I finally asked if it was too early to pick a date. He responded, "For delivery? Oh no, what do you have in mind?" I told him of my lack of sick time, and that Spring Break would really work the best for me. So, he hurried off to find the scheduling woman. In a few minutes, I learned that March 20th, 8 am was our official time for the c-section. Sitting in the chair chatting, I was kind of taken aback. I was expecting him to want to wait another week, so getting my way was a bit of a shock. And then, it all hit me. March 20th...that was 9 weeks from Friday...a mere 63 days until she is here. OMG....we are not ready for this.

Luckily, David and our other doctor calmed me down, and we will be ready. I'm still a bit nervous to bring number two into the world, when thinking of number one. But a strange thing happened yesterday. Mak snuggled up to me, began rubbing my belly (a la Buddha) and started talking to Mav. It was adorable, and still makes me a little teary. She informed her that she was NOT allowed to say bad words, grab the cat by the belly or booty, or sleep all day long. A touching conversation from a soon to be big sister.

While we may not have everything we need for Mavvie, we are ready. And I guess if we aren't...it's a bit too late for that!

I'm Growing A Squash!

2009-01-14T11:05:00.000-06:00

I'm pregnant....therefore, I'm big. My tummy is like a basketball, round and as some say, lovely. I can't help it. It's how I look when I'm pregnant. I'm not a small girl, so why would I suddenly become one when I'm growing a baby?

I have to laugh and kind of get annoyed, to be honest, when people's eyes bug out of their heads when I tell them how far along I am. What people forget is that I'm around 5 feet, 4 inches tall. Therefore, when I am pregnant, there isn't a whole lot of room for me to carry the kiddo. I often hear, "Wow! Are you sure of your due date?" "I bet you go early!" "Well, you're big, aren't you?"

In a good moment, I giggle, and just kind of brush it off. In a not so good moment, I want to either yell or cry. I can't help it that the baby is big. I have big babies...it's what I do.

So, as my pregnancy progresses, and the basketball turns into a beach ball, please refrain from telling me how big I am. I get it, and honestly, I feel it every moment of every day. I'm starting my 29th week, and can't believe that I'll be feeling much worse in a few weeks. I don't remember all of this pain with Makenna. My sister says I've blocked it out, but really, I think it's worse this time.

She is a squash this week, weighing 2.5-3 pounds and her length is around 15 inches. I feel like she's around 5 on most days! We are running out of room in my tummy, and so her elbows and knees are about to kill me at any moment. I've had a few contractions that have taken my breath away because I'm not expecting them. They don't hurt, it's just an instant tightening of my tummy. I didn't have these with Makenna until much later in my pregnancy. SO, I'm not sure what is going on.

Okay, enough of me complaining! Hope you all are having a lovely week! We meet our OB tomorrow, so say a prayer that he's nice, and doesn't rub my belly like I'm Buddha.

The Man Way To Get A Soda

2009-01-07T12:57:00.000-06:00

I love David, truly, truly love him. Having said that, I have to tell a story of a case of him being a total man. Girls, you know what I'm talking about. The, "I can do it my way, and it will just work...grunt, grunt, grunt."

Last weekend, Makenna and I went to the mall in search of maternity shirts for me with my sister. David stayed home, with the task of cleaning up the kitchen looming for him. I'm not sure how all of this went down, or the order of it, but I will now detail.....THE MAN WAY TO GET A SODA.

I called home to check in to see how things were going and to see if he needed anything before we came home. The following is the exchange that took place.

"Hey baby, how's it going?"
"Fine." (I knew at this point that something was up...a one word response, even from David, is not good.)
"What's wrong?" I ask. And then, he started to giggle.
"What's funny?"
"You know those bottles of root beer? The ones that are held together with plastic?"
"Yes."
"Well, I wanted one. But I couldn't get it out." *GIGGLE, GIGGLE, GIGGLE*
"What did you do?"
"Well, I tried a knife, and it was too sharp." *GIGGLE, GIGGLE, GIGGLE*
"What?" By this point, I'm starting to laugh for some reason that I don't know. But, he's cracking me up.
"Um, you know the meat cleaver?"
"YOU USED A MEAT CLEAVER TO OPEN A BOTTLE OF SODA?" *HYSTERICAL LAUGHING BEGINS*
"Well, to get it out of the holder."
"Why did you use a meat cleaver?"
"In the words of Makenna, I don't know Mommy. I've never used one before. It seemed like a good idea."

As you can imagine, the wheezing laugh exploded from me as he went on to inform me that root beer is super sticky, and that it's a real pain to clean up. In fact, we ended up having to go get a mop and new cleaner as even the wet Swiffer and bleach wouldn't un-stick the floor. I am still finding root beer in places, such as under the kitchen sink, in between the freezer doors, etc.

So let this be a lesson to us all, meat cleavers do not only cut the plastic binding of a six-pack of soda, they also put a hole into a bottle, and cause a big mess!

Life...According to Makenna

2008-12-17T12:40:00.000-06:00

I think Makenna is really, really smart...I'm supposed to, I'm her Mama! I also think that she is very, very, very funny. Again, I'm supposed to, I'm her Mama! Sometimes, things come out of her mouth that I file in my brain and need to write down, so I share them with you! Enjoy!

"Mommy, you NEED to be careful. It's slickery."

"Mommy, I can't move faster, the cold is freezing my eyes."

"I forgot how to walk," she exclaimed in an exhausted little voice.

"I love John. He's my brother. I love that song about him." (Sing "Are You Sleeping?" to get the full effect of this.)

"Mommy, you're little...not little like my Grandma Susan, though. She's really little. I love her. She's little."

"MOMMY SUN....TELL YOUR BOY TO GET OUT OF MY EYES." Followed by, "Mommy, can you ask the boy sun to get out of my eyes? He's not listening to me. He needs a time out."

" I love your school, Mommy. They give me treats. I like treats."

"I'm going to be a big sister like Emmie. I'm going to be great like Emmie." AWWW!!!

"I miss Daddy. No, I really miss Daddy."

"I love going to church. My friends are there. My friends names are Lauren (really Warren), Tag, Cheese, Namy, and all of them. I love them, especially Dr. David. He's nice and big."

"I am tall. You are not tall, Mommy."

"What do YOU want for Christmas, Mommy? You don't know? How about you get me a doll?"

And finally, a Mak story. I was talking to our Aunt Janeil one evening. Makenna ran up to me and said something that I couldn't quite understand. I asked her to try again so that I could get what she was saying. Instead of slowing down her speech, she backed up, walked slowly to me, and then quickly said whatever it was that she was asking. It was so funny!

Baby It's Cold Outside....

2008-12-15T14:40:00.000-06:00

HOLY MARY! I love winter, but really, this is a bit extreme. When I was getting ready for church yesterday, it was in the mid-50s. Makenna and I left the house around 8:10 or so. By 8:20, it was 41 degrees. I stopped to get gas. Now, being that it was 57 when I left, I had chosen not to wear a coat. After all, I'm pregnant, I have a heater that is constantly running. Getting gas, goosebumps began to spring up on my arms. I finally finished filling up, hopped in the car, and called my sister, Emmie. Emmie laughed as I gave her a minute by minute update of the temperature...think Sports Center, or Monday Night Football. By the time we got to her apartment, which was probably 7 minutes later, the temperature was down to 37. REALLY?

We made our way to the church, giggling as the thermometer continued to show a dramatic decrease in temperature. An hour or so later, we entered my car, shocked to see 27 degrees on my gauge. We drove to her boyfriend's house, it was 25 there.

Again, I'm all for winter, but REALLY? It was flippin' cold outside!

We ended the day in a mini-blizzard with snow falling and blowing on the streets of Topeka. And yes, it was still cold. I think the low was somewhere around 4 degrees.

The high today is 12, which yes, is in the double digits, but the wind chill is to stay negative. It was SO COLD that Makenna informed me that her eyes were frozen, and she couldn't close them because they were "frozen open." Picture a three-year-old, wide eyed as the wind stings her eyeballs, drying them out. I'm sure they did feel like they were frozen open, and yet I giggle when I think of her little cold voice uttering those words.

I can just hear Barry Manilow singing now, "Baby, it's cold outside...."

Spoiler Alert....

2008-12-11T15:08:00.001-06:00

Two days ago, it rained, snowed, and then iced over. It was neat, I felt like I was living in someone's snow globe. I love snow, so I was super excited. Like I said, though...it iced over.

Yesterday morning, at approximately 7 am, Makenna and I gingerly walked to the car. "WOW, Mommy, it's slickery out here," were her sentiments. I quickly agreed, and told her to be careful. Soon, the slickery took over, and to prevent her from, "breaking her face," (a common expression of mine) I grabbed her. And yes, my friends, we fell. While it was humorous to begin with...it was darn cold. And then I thought of the baby. I didn't feel awful, or anything else, but I was still concerned. So I called in, at nearly 9 am, the first chance I had since they'd opened at 8:30.

It was decided that Dr. Saylor should see me. While we heard the heartbeat, it was different....he thought it was from the amniotic fluid being greater, but I was clearly still nervous. He offered an ultrasound, while trying to reassure me that he felt like I was okay. Of course, I went for the ultrasound. In less than an hour, I had to drink as much water as possible, eat, and not be nervous. Again, I felt okay, but in the back of my mind, I was hoping to find out what BB is.

As I drank as much water as I could without vomiting, David and I ate anxiously at the hospital. We soon finished, and went to the registration. After making jokes and giggling, we were finally called in to get started.

I love ultrasounds! It is truly amazing to see how big BB has become in just 23 whole weeks. Everything looks good. BB weighs in a 1 lb, 7 oz, and can kick and hit with the best of them. We saw tons and tons of movement, and the heartbeat just going crazy.

HERE IS THE PARAGRAPH WITH THE SPOILER. If you don't want to know, please don't read this blog again until after April 1st! So, I finally asked what the baby is. Very calmly, the woman said, "Oh, it's a GIRL!!" So, all of my dreams and inner feelings were completely wrong. It's a girl. I let it digest, as David got clearly excited, which was really neat to see. :)

We told Makenna that afternoon that BB is a girl, and she said, "Good. I didn't want a brother. Can we name her Maverick?" I explained that no, she's a girl. At this point, I believe she named her new sister. "Mommy, I have a name. How about Mavvie?" David and I looked at each other, smiled, and he said, "OOOHHHH, I LOVE THAT!" Now, he's not gotten this excited about any name, so I think we're going with Mavvie. I'm not sure if we'll do Mavvie, or Mavvy. It rhymes with savvy, so just think of that when pronouncing it.

If you don't like it, I don't care. I've heard enough negativity from people that are close to me, that I'm just learning to say that I don't care. Please see my previous post regarding naming our child! If you do...thanks, we think it's neat, different, and especially cool because Makenna came up with it!

We are still planning on doing browns and greens in the nursery, although that might just change to browns and pinks! So from now on, THINK PINK!!

The Name Game

2008-12-01T11:11:00.000-06:00

Approaching the beginning of my 23rd week, I am starting to get in a small tizzy about the fact that we still have NO girl name picked out. I have searched and searched and searched. Now, most people think that we have plenty of time...however, I have to hear the name, think the name, practice yelling the name for a while before I truly decide that it is the perfect name.

Added to this pressure is the odd looks we get when we talk about names that we like. Often, "Oh, I don't like that." "You JUST CAN'T NAME YOUR BABY THAT!" "Really? That's a weird name," are just a few of the responses that we have gotten when we have discussed our boy name. It is hard for me to hold my tongue too much, especially when people are rude. I have often wanted to scream back, "If you carry a baby for 40ish weeks, then you name it whatever you want. BUT, this is our kid...so SHUT IT!" However, I have refrained from such comments. We don't like traditional names, it's not a crime, just us.

The worst part of the whole name game thing, is that the people who are the rudest, are those that we are related to, or those that we have known for a long time. I'm all for attempting to say what I'd like, but keep it semi-nice when I talk to people. It's hard, but with the people I love, I try. I think people just say what first comes to their minds without really thinking that it might offend or hurt feelings.

My whole point is that it's hard choosing a name for someone that you haven't met. It's a very tough decision. After all, the child will eventually turn into an adult, and you don't want your kid to have a cool kid name, but a crazy adult name. I want Makenna and BB to LOVE their names. I appreciate different names because there were several Wendy's in my classes growing up. Not that I don't like my name, but it was a mess when we had Wendy L., Wendy S., and Wendy D. all in the same classroom.

It's hard enough choosing a name when you aren't in a profession where names are an issue. BUT, being a teacher, I've vetoed several names for obvious reasons!

So, if you don't like the names we have chosen, perhaps when you have your own children, you can name them something totally different!

Giddy-up Cowgirl!!

2008-11-24T09:48:00.001-06:00

Here is a picture of Makenna on Halloween. It was her first trick or treating experience. She was more excited to ring the doorbells than to get the candy. She went with her friend, Elizabeth. At one point, Elizabeth fell down, and instead of making sure she was alright, Makenna just walked around her to ring the bell. Lovely, isn't she?

I don't know about you, but I think she's one cute cowgirl!

Carrots and Registering

2008-11-19T09:51:00.000-06:00

Goodness, it's hard to believe that it's already time to think about Thanksgiving and Christmas. Like I said in my last post, time is moving slowly on some days, but whooshing by on others. We are at 21 weeks today, which is rather exciting! It's hard to believe that in 18 or 19 weeks we will be welcoming BB into the world.

He or she is currently 10.5 inches long, and 3/4ths of a pound. It's super hard to believe that he or she is just that size, especially with the kicks and punches I'm feeling. I'd think he or she is already a pound or two!

Along with BB, I too am expanding. That sounds weird to say. I go to the doctor next week, so I'm not sure if I have gained any weight back, or lost more. However, I did have a dream that I gained 10 pounds this month. A frightening thought, yes, but I think people would be less worried if that were the case. It's very sweet how worried many of you are that I haven't gained, but trust me, there's enough there already!

Tonight is David's first night of baby registration. Now, when we were doing this for our wedding, he glazed over at some point in Bed, Bath, and Beyond. I'm hoping that this will not be as overwhelming, but fear that it will be. Any bets on when the glaze will begin? I'm thinking somewhere between crib sheets and bottles! It was instructed in my weekly email that we do this activity this week, so while we have a free night, we might as well do it. It feels odd to be doing this again, since I did it with Makenna. Circumstances are so different now, and I sold most of Makenna's things. SO, I am trying not to feel guilty, but realize that we do need things for the little one, and that we aren't being weird registering, since this is the second little one.

Makenna is doing well. We are still having issues in the morning, but I'm learning to just let her arise on her own after I've given the first wake-up call. She's not a morning person anymore, which kills me. She is still very excited about the baby, often talking to him or her in a loud voice, rather than soothing. At first I tried to tell her that we need to speak softly, but, then I realized that our life is loud, so the sooner BB gets used to it, the better his or her life will be.
We are still on a hunt for a girl's name. We have declined most of them on the survey, and so we continue our search for the perfect name. Goodness, there are some strange names out there! Again, if you have any suggestions, comment us...we need help!

Banana

2008-11-12T10:17:00.001-06:00

At the start of my 20th week, I have realized something. As the days pass by, the hours seem to move SO SLOWLY. Slow hours means slow days. Slow days means slow weeks. And yes, slow weeks means slow months. But today, as I was looking at my email, I realized...WOW, 20 WEEKS. I can remember taking the pregnancy tests that came back negative, although all of the signs were there. I remember talking to my good friend Karen, explaining my symptoms, and her telling me to wait a week and take another one. It seems like yesterday, that we were sitting in Vacation Bible School having the above mentioned conversation. I also remember talking to David about babies, and deciding that we should wait. I remember being a little nervous to tell him that one had come out positive, and then another. It seems like yesterday, and yet, so long ago.

Today, when I woke up, I thought to myself, "Whew, 20 weeks starts today." And then, seeing the little week calendar at the top of my Baby Center page, it hit me. HOLY COW...20 WEEKS! With Makenna, it was 19 weeks later that she arrived. With BB, it could be a mere 18, if I'm lucky. While I'm excited, I think I'm more freaked out with this one, than I was with Makenna. I think adding her into the mix has added stress on me. :)

Now that I have shared my freak-out thoughts, here's the scoop on BB. At 20 weeks, the measurements change from crown to rump into head to toe. So, while he or she was a mere 6 inches in measured length, he or she is now measuring at 10 inches long. Crown to rump is 6.5 inches long, but 10 inches. Goodness....that's long...almost a whole ruler. :) BB weighs in at 10.5 ounces...another good jump in growth. Granted, all of these are estimates, but it's good to know how big average is. My luck, he or she is bigger, but that's okay with me!

I am still doing alright. I'm fighting a cold right now, Makenna is so thoughtful to share, but am feeling pretty good overall. I am really starting to show now, a very high bump, which is weird to me, since the baby is low, but whatever. I don't ask questions, I just deal with it. I was sad to read though, that with second pregnancies, the baby doesn't really drop until labor begins. REALLY? I don't have a lot of room for BB to hang out up high, so that bit of information could have been left out for a while.

I'm feeling some good kicks every now and then, which is neat. I think David and Makenna are still waiting to see a leg pop out of my belly, but it will be a while for that.

Hope you all are doing well and here's to hoping that we get snow soon!

How Big Is An Heirloom Tomato?

2008-11-07T12:51:00.001-06:00

On Wednesday of this week, I opened my weekly baby update from http://www.babycenter.com/. I had to laugh because it says that the baby is 8.5 ounces in weight, and 6 inches long, the size of an heirloom tomato. Now, my question is, how big IS an heirloom tomato? Is it 8.5 ounces in weight? Or is it 6 inches long? If it is the latter, than goodness....that's some tomato!

Also happening with Baby Baruth this week are the brain is designating special areas for the senses. Hopefully, BB will end up with my keen sense of smell and hearing. Also, the time is either now, or very close to BB hearing and learning the sound of my voice. I believe this has already happened, though. Please let me explain.

Last week, while in computer lab, I was telling the teacher about The Evolution of Dance. It's a video on YouTube. Check it out, if you have time. Anyway, I pulled it up during lab, and all of the sudden, BB started going crazy. It was so weird. So, he or she is some type of dancer, or just liked all of the songs, or was telling me to be quiet, because I was cracking up laughing. In my world, he or she already knows that I'm the Mama, and is getting used to the loudness of our lives.

Hope you all are doing well! After starting the week at nearly 80, it's dropped to the 50s today. It's super cold, and I'm just glad that I don't have recess duty again today. I'm still awaiting the first snow of the season. Perhaps not the four feet that were in South Dakota, but more than just flurries. If it's going to be cold, it could at least be snowy and pretty.